After a long hiatus from writing leave it to me to start up again with a post that is sure to horrify some. I am about to take a secret and blow it up, right here, right now. Blowing your nose in the shower. I'm a huge fan of this. I figured this was something everyone did until I read in 'Glamour' or 'Cosmo' years ago that everyone did not appreciate this habit. A girl actually wrote in and was considering breaking up with her boyfriend because she couldn't handle his water laden sinus empty-ing ways.
MFC's brother is also firmly against this act. However, I stand behind my belief that if you do not blow your nose whilst in a steamy hot shower, you are missing out on one of life's true joys. And to commit this act when you have a cold and can't breathe? Brilliant.
I admit, it is not the most lady like thing that I do but, I do it alone. It's not like I'm in the car picking my nose. MFC was extremely excited by my declaration, as he is about most things that I do that make me more like a dude than a lady. I think it's because it makes him feel more free to be himself or something..
So, about a month ago we were on a trip to visit his family in Nova Scotia. You really get to know someone during an 11 hour car ride and a week of both of you out of your comfort zone. I walk into the bathroom while he was in the shower (don't worry mom and dad, obviously he showers in a bathing suit) and I can see that at first glance he is not in the running shower. I look a little closer through the clear curtain and see that he is sort of..squatting in the shower..
Me: 'Um, babe? What are you doing?'
Him (with a tone that says..isn't it clear??): 'I'm blowing my nose'
Me: 'What are you on the ground?'
Him: 'I'm squatting'
Me: 'clearly!'
Him: 'That's how I blow my nose in the shower-I don't want it to get everywhere!'.
Obviously, this is an act best done alone.
Monday, August 8, 2011
Friday, June 24, 2011
What keeps me up at night
Every night this week I have woken up at 2am unable to sleep. The first night I answered email, the second night MFC rolled over and asked me 'what are you doing?', 'Oh, just playing Scrabble on my phone in the dark', last night I thought I would make it productive. What is keeping you up? Why I can't really figure out what the problem is, I can tell you some possibilities:
1. My neighbors upstairs. At any given point in the day they are up. I swear they don't need sleep. There is about 80 of them and if they do sleep it must be in shifts. Between their youngest kids getting ready for high school at 6am, their 1 year old grandchild crying at 2pm, the dad loud talking at 11pm, or the 19 year old sneaking out at 3am, (I may live downstairs from 'The Duggars'), there is always something to hear. However, they take out the garbage most weeks before we can get to it...so I can't complain..
2. The elderly. Literally. Who could be worse than a 19 year old? The 79 year olds. The ones in my neighborhood are up late night talking in the street without their hearing aids..There is a lot of vocal projection going on.
3. Toddlers And Tiaras. A lot of time is spent talking about how our parents screwed us up. I'm not going to talk about that, that is what therapy is for. (Just kidding mom and dad!). I'm going to talk about what my parents did RIGHT. When I was born my mom always tells me how she was sure she was having a boy and she was so freaked out that I was a girl because she 'didn't know what to do with a girl'. My mom grew up more of a tomboy and was gorgeous without a drop of makeup in her sassy bell bottoms. Naturally, she got a girly girl. I was obsessed with my aunts 'high heelies', gave myself black eyes if left alone with a container of blue eyeshadow, and insisted that black lace fingerless gloves and black lace easter dress like Madonna were totally appropriate for church on Easter. Oh, the horror that my mom wouldn't buy me anything black lace at 4 years old!
As you can see if my mom was like ANY of the mothers on Toddlers And Tiaras I could have gone down a dark path. It would have been spray tans, big hair, Red Bull, and extensions by 5.
Seriously, if you haven't watched it you only need to watch one--I've only watched it once. I knew it would be awful but, I just didn't know the extent. There was one woman giving her daughter beef jerkey every time she did something on stage like a show dog! Also, what 5 year old needs Red bull?? I am 31 and can't handle it, which isn't saying much because I don't even drink caffeinated coffee, but who really needs to see a temper tantrum on Red Bull??? Not this girl. Also, there is something deeply disturbing about seeing the face of a 28 year old on a 4 year olds body with a pacifier in her mouth..just sayin'.
And that is what keeps me up at night this week.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
BRUINS WIN! Thank my boyfriend..
THE BRUINS MAKE AN AMAZING COMEBACK LAST NIGHT BEATING THE CANUCKS 8-1!
I bet you're wondering who you can thank for this awesome outcome! Is it the coaches? The players? Horton who took a nasty hit that sent him to the hospital causing the team to rally and kick some ass?
Nope. It's my boyfriend, MFC. Indirectly, me too.
Now, I bet you are wondering what we have to do with any of this. To tell you the truth, I had no idea until this morning.
We have successfully built a new age relationship around text messaging, just like 16 year olds do. We are pretty proud of it. As I have gotten older I don't enjoy chatting on the phone as much as I once did, and I dislike even more talking to someone who truly hates talking on the phone (enter MFC). I am completely comfortable with the rhythm we have found of texting throughout the day the important highlights or sweet nothings at our own pace. Some may find this a little odd or disjointed, so I will say, when it really counts we make a phone call, but in the day to day, it is surprisingly efficient and satisfying. So, why is this important? Why did you just have to sit through that run on sentence about myborderline disfunctional cutting edge communication skills?
Because this is where the secret of sports success lies. Last night I sent a text to MFC after the 4th goal of the night that simply said 'OMG!!!!!'. I didn't even think about the fact that I didn't hear back from him. I assumed he may have been too engrossed in the game, didn't have anything to say, or had fallen asleep. The latter is what I did not too long after that text. My roommate woke me up as I had fallen asleep in the chair and sent me to bed.
This morning I woke up to following texts sent at almost 11:30 last night:
MFC: 'Omg..the last time I responded to u during the game they lost hard..sorry I couldn't again!...superstition! I still love you tho!
MFC: 'They won!!! I couldn't respond cuz of superstition...don't take offense!
Now this is HUGE news people. HUGE. This means that MFC actually now knows he can CONTROL the outcome of the game. Forget growing your beard and not changing your underwear for weeks. You can all get in the shower and switch chairs in the living-room. You can change what you eat for dinner tonight, and you don't have to scratch your left nut after ever period during the game.
We have it all under control. If they lose you will know that MFC has inadvertently texted me during the game- which lord knows will never happen again.
Also note, we are not certain that these powers are unique to us and our phones. Therefore I have created a set of rules to be followed for safety's sake during the next critical games:
1. DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT text me back if I text you during a Bruins game.
2. In fact don't even initiate a text with me during a game. Even if you DVR'd it. You never know, you may have the power to change the past...
3. If you have never texted me before, don't start now. Wait until hockey season is over.
4. I will make sure to text something to MFC during every game moving forward so he has a text to not answer-just incase this has something to do with our powers.
5. OK. Let's really be safe. If my number is IN your phone..take it out temporarily. I don't want you to be tempted, and thus blamed if we lose.
Following these rules is doing your part to ensure a win for Boston and inevitably a Stanley cup victory. I bet you didn't know it was this easy! The hard part is gonna be shaving that beard pal, nasty.
**Update** MFC just texted me: 'It is a gift I must share with the world!'
Don't worry babe. I just did.
I bet you're wondering who you can thank for this awesome outcome! Is it the coaches? The players? Horton who took a nasty hit that sent him to the hospital causing the team to rally and kick some ass?
Nope. It's my boyfriend, MFC. Indirectly, me too.
Now, I bet you are wondering what we have to do with any of this. To tell you the truth, I had no idea until this morning.
We have successfully built a new age relationship around text messaging, just like 16 year olds do. We are pretty proud of it. As I have gotten older I don't enjoy chatting on the phone as much as I once did, and I dislike even more talking to someone who truly hates talking on the phone (enter MFC). I am completely comfortable with the rhythm we have found of texting throughout the day the important highlights or sweet nothings at our own pace. Some may find this a little odd or disjointed, so I will say, when it really counts we make a phone call, but in the day to day, it is surprisingly efficient and satisfying. So, why is this important? Why did you just have to sit through that run on sentence about my
Because this is where the secret of sports success lies. Last night I sent a text to MFC after the 4th goal of the night that simply said 'OMG!!!!!'. I didn't even think about the fact that I didn't hear back from him. I assumed he may have been too engrossed in the game, didn't have anything to say, or had fallen asleep. The latter is what I did not too long after that text. My roommate woke me up as I had fallen asleep in the chair and sent me to bed.
This morning I woke up to following texts sent at almost 11:30 last night:
MFC: 'Omg..the last time I responded to u during the game they lost hard..sorry I couldn't again!...superstition! I still love you tho!
MFC: 'They won!!! I couldn't respond cuz of superstition...don't take offense!
Now this is HUGE news people. HUGE. This means that MFC actually now knows he can CONTROL the outcome of the game. Forget growing your beard and not changing your underwear for weeks. You can all get in the shower and switch chairs in the living-room. You can change what you eat for dinner tonight, and you don't have to scratch your left nut after ever period during the game.
We have it all under control. If they lose you will know that MFC has inadvertently texted me during the game- which lord knows will never happen again.
Also note, we are not certain that these powers are unique to us and our phones. Therefore I have created a set of rules to be followed for safety's sake during the next critical games:
1. DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT text me back if I text you during a Bruins game.
2. In fact don't even initiate a text with me during a game. Even if you DVR'd it. You never know, you may have the power to change the past...
3. If you have never texted me before, don't start now. Wait until hockey season is over.
4. I will make sure to text something to MFC during every game moving forward so he has a text to not answer-just incase this has something to do with our powers.
5. OK. Let's really be safe. If my number is IN your phone..take it out temporarily. I don't want you to be tempted, and thus blamed if we lose.
Following these rules is doing your part to ensure a win for Boston and inevitably a Stanley cup victory. I bet you didn't know it was this easy! The hard part is gonna be shaving that beard pal, nasty.
**Update** MFC just texted me: 'It is a gift I must share with the world!'
Don't worry babe. I just did.
Monday, May 23, 2011
So, the world did not end...now what?
Saturday was suppose to be the day we were all off the hook I hear. Shockingly, the world did not end at 6pm. Just before that time on Saturday night I was in dress rehearsal for the dance recital for the studio I teach at. The girls were all talking about the impending disaster, so I told them when they ran that last number to dance like it was the last time they were ever going to dance again.
Man were they pissed when they had to run it another time...
My quality television viewing of Kathy Lee and Hoda this morning confirmed my view that even though I didn't think the world was ending on Saturday, it is something that makes you stop and take stock of your life a little bit and think what you do with your time. It also a time to say ohh...S&*%...the world didn't end...now what.
1. I need to get back to the gym. TODAY. I have become ridiculously sedentary since starting school...turns out cellulite is NOT in season this summer...you know, these trends are always changing...I was apparently expecting jiggly thighs to be really IN this year...
2. I need to clean my room. Badly. It just has not been a priority...MFC told me my room looked like I was a hoarder. I think that may be a bad sign.
3. Speaking of hoarders....I KINDA want to be one of those women on 'Extreme Couponing'...It is like super organized hoarding. However, I don't want to have a basement stockpile of diet coke and hamburger helper....I want to just figure out how to buy fruits and veggies and good food for $2. Seriously...these people are insane!! Just watch it once. You will thank me.
4. I am still dying to get into the delivery room of one of my friends giving birth. The closest I came was sitting all day with a good friend of mine hoping that the shear exhaustion of labor would wear her down, she is my most modest friend...she just told me the other day that if she didn't have to have an emergency C-section she was going to let me stay...A week from Friday she is having her second child via scheduled c-section...I'm wondering if that is enough time to learn how to perform the surgery?
5. OK. I just did some research. I guess I cannot deliver her child...If you are looking for me I am taking a much needed break. I will be found singing at the top of my lungs in my house (mostly when my roommate is at work), sweating my jiggly bits off on the treadmill, enjoying my stupidly high maintenance coffee while reading magazines that tell me the same thing with different words and pictures every month...
Man were they pissed when they had to run it another time...
My quality television viewing of Kathy Lee and Hoda this morning confirmed my view that even though I didn't think the world was ending on Saturday, it is something that makes you stop and take stock of your life a little bit and think what you do with your time. It also a time to say ohh...S&*%...the world didn't end...now what.
1. I need to get back to the gym. TODAY. I have become ridiculously sedentary since starting school...turns out cellulite is NOT in season this summer...you know, these trends are always changing...I was apparently expecting jiggly thighs to be really IN this year...
2. I need to clean my room. Badly. It just has not been a priority...MFC told me my room looked like I was a hoarder. I think that may be a bad sign.
3. Speaking of hoarders....I KINDA want to be one of those women on 'Extreme Couponing'...It is like super organized hoarding. However, I don't want to have a basement stockpile of diet coke and hamburger helper....I want to just figure out how to buy fruits and veggies and good food for $2. Seriously...these people are insane!! Just watch it once. You will thank me.
4. I am still dying to get into the delivery room of one of my friends giving birth. The closest I came was sitting all day with a good friend of mine hoping that the shear exhaustion of labor would wear her down, she is my most modest friend...she just told me the other day that if she didn't have to have an emergency C-section she was going to let me stay...A week from Friday she is having her second child via scheduled c-section...I'm wondering if that is enough time to learn how to perform the surgery?
5. OK. I just did some research. I guess I cannot deliver her child...If you are looking for me I am taking a much needed break. I will be found singing at the top of my lungs in my house (mostly when my roommate is at work), sweating my jiggly bits off on the treadmill, enjoying my stupidly high maintenance coffee while reading magazines that tell me the same thing with different words and pictures every month...
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Side notes..
As expected since going back to school writing on my blog has taken a back seat in terms of priorities these days. I just realized I haven't posted since April 8th! I think about it..I've had some great ideas! However, until I can put that chip in my brain that automatically downloads thoughts to my laptop...well then I guess that doesn't do any of us any good now does it? Or, maybe it does all of us a LOT of good. As my boyfriend said to me after one of my remarks this weekend 'You know baby...you don't have to share EVERY thought that goes through your mind with me'... naturally I responded with 'Umm...do you KNOW me?'. I got in the short line when they were passing out verbal boundaries.
Which leads me to this month. I'm thinking I'll just do a little recap of life, in case you are interested..If you aren't interested..well, then it begs the question why are you reading?
So I give you my life in a nutshell:
When I started back in grad school a girl I know from high school remarked on Facebook that around Wednesday of every week I would start to question the cleanliness of socks...She was right. I didn't think that would happen at all. I figured, if I am home studying most of the time, how could I not do laundry. Turns out..very easily.
My roommate is a saint. No. Really. Every week I would start out clean. As the week progressed, my school work trail would take over my desk in the dining room, the dining room table, the coffee table in the living-room, the couch, the living-room floor. I often left myself no time to wash my lunch or dinner dishes before dashing to class. Much to my protest, she usually did them. I would have hated me. She still smiles when she sees me. Yeah, best roommate ever.
I have been a staple at my boyfriend's house. His brother whom he lives with is also a saint. He has put up with my multiple bags, my food in their cupboards and fridge, and my mug in various stages of distress probably more than he has cared to. I thanked him by peer pressuring him to run a 5k.
My friends are saints. Most of them I haven't talked to in weeks..This is not good. After an MTEL yesterday I showed up at a 30th surprise party 3/12 hours late...I made it an hour and a half before I had to bow out to pass out on the couch. It isn't pretty.
I now consider Special K protein bars a balanced lunch, breakfast, dinner...whatever.
I went semi-comatose at a 2 year old's birthday party.
One week I wore the same outfit to school everyday. It wasn't until the third day of class that I noticed there was a HOLE in the arm pit of my sweater. Yeah, I noticed THAT one after raising my hand to answer a question...The first day I wore it I had given a presentation. Awesome.
So, I was also advised to go back to caffeine. I refuse to do it. I stopped for a decaf fancy latte at Starbucks last Tuesday. For some reason I had a really upset stomach on the way home, I was pretty sure I wasn't going to make it home...if you know what I'm saying...
The next day the same girl helped me. She looked at me with a somber look...'Did you get in trouble yesterday?'
Me: 'Um...in what way?'
Her: 'Well...I looked in the machine yesterday and realized someone put regular beans in the decaf side...I was pressing decaf all day giving it to people..I remember you because you double checked and I assured you it was decaf..I am SO sorry'
Me: 'Wow! No, I didn't even notice, I have been so exhausted you probably did me a favor!'
Her: 'Well, you don't need to pay for your coffee today'
Then I remembered my unfortunate stomach..ohhh lady...I PAID for that coffee..trust me on that one!
So, now aside from working at my part time job and dance recital madness I am school/ test free until June 1st. Today after I taught I drove home. Since then I have moved from the living-room chair to the couch. I watched a movie suited for a 17 year old girl. I have yet to shower. It feels soo good.
Ahhh.
Which leads me to this month. I'm thinking I'll just do a little recap of life, in case you are interested..If you aren't interested..well, then it begs the question why are you reading?
So I give you my life in a nutshell:
When I started back in grad school a girl I know from high school remarked on Facebook that around Wednesday of every week I would start to question the cleanliness of socks...She was right. I didn't think that would happen at all. I figured, if I am home studying most of the time, how could I not do laundry. Turns out..very easily.
My roommate is a saint. No. Really. Every week I would start out clean. As the week progressed, my school work trail would take over my desk in the dining room, the dining room table, the coffee table in the living-room, the couch, the living-room floor. I often left myself no time to wash my lunch or dinner dishes before dashing to class. Much to my protest, she usually did them. I would have hated me. She still smiles when she sees me. Yeah, best roommate ever.
I have been a staple at my boyfriend's house. His brother whom he lives with is also a saint. He has put up with my multiple bags, my food in their cupboards and fridge, and my mug in various stages of distress probably more than he has cared to. I thanked him by peer pressuring him to run a 5k.
My friends are saints. Most of them I haven't talked to in weeks..This is not good. After an MTEL yesterday I showed up at a 30th surprise party 3/12 hours late...I made it an hour and a half before I had to bow out to pass out on the couch. It isn't pretty.
I now consider Special K protein bars a balanced lunch, breakfast, dinner...whatever.
I went semi-comatose at a 2 year old's birthday party.
One week I wore the same outfit to school everyday. It wasn't until the third day of class that I noticed there was a HOLE in the arm pit of my sweater. Yeah, I noticed THAT one after raising my hand to answer a question...The first day I wore it I had given a presentation. Awesome.
So, I was also advised to go back to caffeine. I refuse to do it. I stopped for a decaf fancy latte at Starbucks last Tuesday. For some reason I had a really upset stomach on the way home, I was pretty sure I wasn't going to make it home...if you know what I'm saying...
The next day the same girl helped me. She looked at me with a somber look...'Did you get in trouble yesterday?'
Me: 'Um...in what way?'
Her: 'Well...I looked in the machine yesterday and realized someone put regular beans in the decaf side...I was pressing decaf all day giving it to people..I remember you because you double checked and I assured you it was decaf..I am SO sorry'
Me: 'Wow! No, I didn't even notice, I have been so exhausted you probably did me a favor!'
Her: 'Well, you don't need to pay for your coffee today'
Then I remembered my unfortunate stomach..ohhh lady...I PAID for that coffee..trust me on that one!
So, now aside from working at my part time job and dance recital madness I am school/ test free until June 1st. Today after I taught I drove home. Since then I have moved from the living-room chair to the couch. I watched a movie suited for a 17 year old girl. I have yet to shower. It feels soo good.
Ahhh.
Friday, April 8, 2011
Did you just LOL?
This morning I received a text from my dad. I finished the conversation with: LOL! THANK YOU!!.
This would end a conversation with most people given the circumstances. However, it was followed up with this response:
Dad (in all caps of course, I'm typing this EXACTLY as sent..errors and all): I NEED 2 ASK? THIS IS A POLL FORALL TEXTERS DO PEOPLE TRUELY LAUGH OUT LOUD WHEN THEY SCRIBE LOL OR R THEY JUST ATTEMPTING TO MAKE THE PREVIOUS SENDER FEEL GOOD???"?. JUST WONDERING
Well...then I had to think about it. Most of the time I don't laugh out loud. This is largely because it is awkward for me to laugh out loud for no apparent reason in line for coffee, at the grocery store, in the middle of class. They call that just plain crazy. Then you have to explain yourself to the strangers around you who are holding their children just a little tighter because crazy behind them is 'lol-ing' for no reason. No dad. I didn't really laugh out loud.
If I'm alone, or it's really funny..I laugh out loud. I'm pretty sure lol is an 'appreciation laugh'. If you were in front of the person you would recognize the humor by giving your automatic 'appreciation laugh' that is, in fact forced but it doesn't mean you didn't think that the party talking was funny. They just didn't make you belly laugh. You show them they are in fact funny and you appreciate the humor in your day with this laugh, or in text case-an lol.
In the cases where I DO lol at a text, I usually text back: I literally just LOL!; or I REALLY LOL'd!!
Maybe this doesn't make sense. Of course there is the passive aggressive LOL, as in 'thanks for calling me back last night, lol' ; 'are you ignoring me? lol'; 'wow, you were drunk last night, my face doesn't hurt from you throwing that plant at it at the party at all, thanks for asking. LOL'. You get the point.
My response to my dad was this:
Me: Sometimes I really laugh out loud....then I say- 'I really just lol'd!'. Mostly llol means 'smiled to myself'. STM. Would have laughed if you were in front of me. WHLIYWIFOM. That is too long (to type)
Dad: I THINK U should pretend I'm always in front of you when I text funny. Just saying.
OK dad. But, when I get stares for bringing out the crazy you know who I'm blaming in therapy this week.
This would end a conversation with most people given the circumstances. However, it was followed up with this response:
Dad (in all caps of course, I'm typing this EXACTLY as sent..errors and all): I NEED 2 ASK? THIS IS A POLL FORALL TEXTERS DO PEOPLE TRUELY LAUGH OUT LOUD WHEN THEY SCRIBE LOL OR R THEY JUST ATTEMPTING TO MAKE THE PREVIOUS SENDER FEEL GOOD???"?. JUST WONDERING
Well...then I had to think about it. Most of the time I don't laugh out loud. This is largely because it is awkward for me to laugh out loud for no apparent reason in line for coffee, at the grocery store, in the middle of class. They call that just plain crazy. Then you have to explain yourself to the strangers around you who are holding their children just a little tighter because crazy behind them is 'lol-ing' for no reason. No dad. I didn't really laugh out loud.
If I'm alone, or it's really funny..I laugh out loud. I'm pretty sure lol is an 'appreciation laugh'. If you were in front of the person you would recognize the humor by giving your automatic 'appreciation laugh' that is, in fact forced but it doesn't mean you didn't think that the party talking was funny. They just didn't make you belly laugh. You show them they are in fact funny and you appreciate the humor in your day with this laugh, or in text case-an lol.
In the cases where I DO lol at a text, I usually text back: I literally just LOL!; or I REALLY LOL'd!!
Maybe this doesn't make sense. Of course there is the passive aggressive LOL, as in 'thanks for calling me back last night, lol' ; 'are you ignoring me? lol'; 'wow, you were drunk last night, my face doesn't hurt from you throwing that plant at it at the party at all, thanks for asking. LOL'. You get the point.
My response to my dad was this:
Me: Sometimes I really laugh out loud....then I say- 'I really just lol'd!'. Mostly llol means 'smiled to myself'. STM. Would have laughed if you were in front of me. WHLIYWIFOM. That is too long (to type)
Dad: I THINK U should pretend I'm always in front of you when I text funny. Just saying.
OK dad. But, when I get stares for bringing out the crazy you know who I'm blaming in therapy this week.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Procrastination station. The Easter edition.
Signs of Spring. I stood in MFC's window yesterday morning looking at about 6 Robin's hopping around the neighbors yard. I'm always so happy to see those little red breasted birds! Spring is here! I am also fascinated by the way they hop..turn their head to the ground and listen for their prey. Then MFC told me they hop so it sounds like rain to draw the worms to the surface. I had never heard this theory! Brilliant! Then I found out he had never seen them 'listening' or heard that they do that. Of course not one of the 6 birds would turn their head to the ground when I tried to point it out. Now I'm not really sure that either of us knows what we are talking about! Does anyone have the facts on this?
Speaking of Robins...Robin eggs...Easter candy. Does anyone know how hard it is to walk by all the pretty Easter candy in say...Target???? Almost impossible. Yesterday it seemed like a great idea to buy almond M&M's, Starbursts, or really anything just for the cute pastel package.
However, I walked away. Why? Three words. Cadbury mini eggs. Have I talked about this???
I once had a problem with the eggs. First of all, they are nothing short of miraculous. The chocolate is slightly salty, the shell the perfect crunch. The best is if you suck on them. Seriously. It is a religious experience.
So, one year I bought a bag. Then another bag. It got so bad that I was eating them at 6AM on my drive into work, sneaking them in the car! I don't know how many bags I ate that year, but let me tell you it wasn't pretty...there should have been an intervention. So, now I have to walk away from them.
A friend of mine gave me a bag for my birthday. That has been the only one this year. It will stay that way. However, the day after Easter they get marked down to a stupidly low price. I will be chained up in the basement for the week. I have to take precautions.
Speaking of Robins...Robin eggs...Easter candy. Does anyone know how hard it is to walk by all the pretty Easter candy in say...Target???? Almost impossible. Yesterday it seemed like a great idea to buy almond M&M's, Starbursts, or really anything just for the cute pastel package.
However, I walked away. Why? Three words. Cadbury mini eggs. Have I talked about this???
I once had a problem with the eggs. First of all, they are nothing short of miraculous. The chocolate is slightly salty, the shell the perfect crunch. The best is if you suck on them. Seriously. It is a religious experience.
So, one year I bought a bag. Then another bag. It got so bad that I was eating them at 6AM on my drive into work, sneaking them in the car! I don't know how many bags I ate that year, but let me tell you it wasn't pretty...there should have been an intervention. So, now I have to walk away from them.
A friend of mine gave me a bag for my birthday. That has been the only one this year. It will stay that way. However, the day after Easter they get marked down to a stupidly low price. I will be chained up in the basement for the week. I have to take precautions.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Hush hush...this is scary.
As you may know there are few things I like more than messed up song lyrics...typically I prefer them to be out of the mouths of others, but that is just my competitive nature.
Today my mind was blown in math class. No, not with fractions--although they blow my mind in so many other ways..but, when a classmate started singing me a song.
You have to understand my math group. We are the loudest table, mostly because of me and another guy. He is super math smart and can't help but shout out the answers, and I am not as blessed in the math department but still can't keep my mouth shut...shocking.
One of our other group members was, I think encouraging me to perhaps pipe down when she said don't make me sing the song to you...and she sang:
'hush, hush. Keep it down now, voices carry' I did not know this song..but, I knew the tune!
I looked at her in shock 'Is that what she says???' (the group is 'Til Tuesday' I think)
'Yeah'
I thought the lyrics were 'ohh, hush. We go downtown, this is scary'.
My version totally makes sense, it is clearly not a great downtown area, so you want to keep your voice down and just get where you are going..and damn it, it's scary! Then I interpret that it really has something to do with love and that being scary....yeah. That isn't what it means at all, 'cause those aren't the words.
I will tell you something else that is scary. The fact that being in school makes me understand why college kids are always in their pajamas. Why change? I'm just doing homework...I thought maybe I would be excited to get dressed and go to class--while I do not where pajamas to class I am over getting dressed up. For years I have been getting dressed in skirts, dresses, dress pants, heels, full makeup--all of it for work. I missed that when I was unemployed. However...now, I do homework, work out, teach dance...Why would I put on regular clothes...I took it to a new low today when I went to get coffee and wore my slippers as shoes..What?? All the other kids are doing it. Did I mention I was still in my pajamas? Granted, my pajamas were yoga pants a tank top and a hoodie...no one knew, unless they saw the sheet mark still on my face.
I'm starting to look like a commercial for anti-depressants.
Monday, March 21, 2011
Spring sprang...and other surprising moments.
Mondays are a long day for me. I get up somewhere in the six o'clock hour and observe a first grade class for the day. I then find an internet connection for a couple of hours and do some homework before I go teach dance from 6-9. I then have a 45 minute drive home.
This morning I declined MFC's offer of coffee. I have some other illness from somewhere that has made me lose my voice and given me a super hot cough. Honestly, this has been the sickest winter ever. By 'sickest' I do not mean most awesome.
I realized on my way to the elementary school that I was super early...I rethought my coffee needs and decided to go to a target that has a Starbucks in it. I was even too early for Target. I sat in my car for fifteen minutes listening to my favorite morning show. I was already contemplating how on earth I was going to make it through the day feeling half awake. When the door opened I sprang from my car, anticipating my steaming hot cup o' Joe. I was half running to the door.
When I walked in, something did not look right...There was no coffee made and no one behind the counter. I heard two Target managers discuss how they put 'Susan' at Starbucks because she was a superstar. Then I saw Susan. She was dressed not in a Starbucks uniform, but in a Target uniform. Not a good sign.
She looked alarmed as I approached her, and she looked at her watch.
I asked if they were open and she said 'Yes! We are! I don't know if I can make what you want, but I can try! What can I get for you?'
This was definitely not a good sign. Long story short, she thought she could make my coffee, and went to grab the things she needed and she couldn't find anything. After a couple minutes of scurrying I was finally able to stop her and tell her not to worry, I would just take a cup of hot water. ( I had a tea bag in my purse). I tried to mask my enormous disappointment at the lack of coffee as she apologized, gave me a coupon for a free drink and told me that whomever could have made my java delight had called out sick. I thanked her, smiled and told her good luck and sulked back to my car. I made my tea in the cup holder and cursed the sick guy. Doesn't he KNOW??? I NEED MY COFFEE. I thought it couldn't be worse.
I got back on the highway thinking about how I could have stayed in bed an extra 45 minutes when it happened. Three robin's flew across the highway in front of my car at lightening speed...Well, two were at lightening speed...one was more the speed of sound. I heard the tell tale thud of road kill. I screamed 'OH MY GOD!!! I KILLED A BIRD!!!!!! OHHH!!! NOOO!!!'. I couldn't believe it. No coffee and I killed a bird. It could not get worse.
I went through my classroom observation hacking all over the kids. I wasn't sure who had more germs today...me or them. At 2:30 I walked to my car. That's when I saw it.
The bird I had hit was still with me. It had become one with my car. I started yelling OH MY GOD!!!! It was then as I was causing a scene alone in an elementary school parking lot that I saw a mother and a child walking to their car. I felt the need to explain that we were all looking at the poor bird I hit that morning. Here I am driving around town with a bird glued to the hood of my car. Awesome. Did I mention yesterday was the first day of spring and it was snowing? Yeah. That too.
I made it to my dad's to make some soup and do some homework...and ask him to 'de-bird' me.
I'm pretty sure that if I was superstitious this would be a bad omen. Thank goodness I'm not..superstitious...knock on wood.
This morning I declined MFC's offer of coffee. I have some other illness from somewhere that has made me lose my voice and given me a super hot cough. Honestly, this has been the sickest winter ever. By 'sickest' I do not mean most awesome.
I realized on my way to the elementary school that I was super early...I rethought my coffee needs and decided to go to a target that has a Starbucks in it. I was even too early for Target. I sat in my car for fifteen minutes listening to my favorite morning show. I was already contemplating how on earth I was going to make it through the day feeling half awake. When the door opened I sprang from my car, anticipating my steaming hot cup o' Joe. I was half running to the door.
When I walked in, something did not look right...There was no coffee made and no one behind the counter. I heard two Target managers discuss how they put 'Susan' at Starbucks because she was a superstar. Then I saw Susan. She was dressed not in a Starbucks uniform, but in a Target uniform. Not a good sign.
She looked alarmed as I approached her, and she looked at her watch.
I asked if they were open and she said 'Yes! We are! I don't know if I can make what you want, but I can try! What can I get for you?'
This was definitely not a good sign. Long story short, she thought she could make my coffee, and went to grab the things she needed and she couldn't find anything. After a couple minutes of scurrying I was finally able to stop her and tell her not to worry, I would just take a cup of hot water. ( I had a tea bag in my purse). I tried to mask my enormous disappointment at the lack of coffee as she apologized, gave me a coupon for a free drink and told me that whomever could have made my java delight had called out sick. I thanked her, smiled and told her good luck and sulked back to my car. I made my tea in the cup holder and cursed the sick guy. Doesn't he KNOW??? I NEED MY COFFEE. I thought it couldn't be worse.
I got back on the highway thinking about how I could have stayed in bed an extra 45 minutes when it happened. Three robin's flew across the highway in front of my car at lightening speed...Well, two were at lightening speed...one was more the speed of sound. I heard the tell tale thud of road kill. I screamed 'OH MY GOD!!! I KILLED A BIRD!!!!!! OHHH!!! NOOO!!!'. I couldn't believe it. No coffee and I killed a bird. It could not get worse.
I went through my classroom observation hacking all over the kids. I wasn't sure who had more germs today...me or them. At 2:30 I walked to my car. That's when I saw it.
The bird I had hit was still with me. It had become one with my car. I started yelling OH MY GOD!!!! It was then as I was causing a scene alone in an elementary school parking lot that I saw a mother and a child walking to their car. I felt the need to explain that we were all looking at the poor bird I hit that morning. Here I am driving around town with a bird glued to the hood of my car. Awesome. Did I mention yesterday was the first day of spring and it was snowing? Yeah. That too.
I made it to my dad's to make some soup and do some homework...and ask him to 'de-bird' me.
I'm pretty sure that if I was superstitious this would be a bad omen. Thank goodness I'm not..superstitious...knock on wood.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Are you sure your Irish?
Last year I told you about my super awesome St. Paddy's day outfit in 5th or 6th grade. Fortunately, there are no pictures of this nightmare that I thought was so awesome however there is a full description here.
Besides remembering my poor fashion choices what is my biggest nightmare? 4 words. Corned. Beef. And. Cabbage. To me this is one big pot of awful. I am not a fan of boiled dinners all around, I don't know what it is...no..I do. It's the sogginess of the veggies, and the fact that everything tastes the same. Like carrots. I enjoy carrots, but I like my carrots to taste like carrots and my potato to taste like potato, and my meat to taste like meat...not meat carrots.
Cooked cabbage? Well, that is one big salty fart. Raw cabbage, yum. Cooked cabbage salty farts.
So naturally, I am dating someone who hosts St. Patrick's day dinner every year and corned beef and cabbage is 'the thing'. I've been getting horrified looks for months when I confess that this is my #1 hated meal (followed closely by pot roast). I get the 'this could be a deal breaker look'. So, I have promised I would try it. Who knows, I may like it this year! I didn't know I liked brussell sprouts until I met his family and have had 3 separate brussell sprout revelations--seriously YUMMY stuff. I could change my tune...but, I'll pack a sandwich just in case. I got the Irish skin and freckles, but the Irish taste buds...not so much.
Besides remembering my poor fashion choices what is my biggest nightmare? 4 words. Corned. Beef. And. Cabbage. To me this is one big pot of awful. I am not a fan of boiled dinners all around, I don't know what it is...no..I do. It's the sogginess of the veggies, and the fact that everything tastes the same. Like carrots. I enjoy carrots, but I like my carrots to taste like carrots and my potato to taste like potato, and my meat to taste like meat...not meat carrots.
Cooked cabbage? Well, that is one big salty fart. Raw cabbage, yum. Cooked cabbage salty farts.
So naturally, I am dating someone who hosts St. Patrick's day dinner every year and corned beef and cabbage is 'the thing'. I've been getting horrified looks for months when I confess that this is my #1 hated meal (followed closely by pot roast). I get the 'this could be a deal breaker look'. So, I have promised I would try it. Who knows, I may like it this year! I didn't know I liked brussell sprouts until I met his family and have had 3 separate brussell sprout revelations--seriously YUMMY stuff. I could change my tune...but, I'll pack a sandwich just in case. I got the Irish skin and freckles, but the Irish taste buds...not so much.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
They say it's your birthday!
Last year I tried to write about all the things that shaped me to 30. I think I wrote one story. Then 30 happened and I changed my life in every way imaginable!
Truth be told, I was not excited to turn 30 last year. I was having my first birthday melt down. This is not what 30 looked like when I was a kid...On the upside it looks a whole lot younger than when I was 5, 10, 15....20. But, I wasn't where I thought I should be.
Everyone said 31 is worse because it isn't the novelty of turning 30, you are actually IN your 30's. I'm just gonna say I dig it. My life doesn't look like what I thought, but I'm thinking this is way more fun. I feel like I am finding myself and challenging myself more and more everyday!
I love my birthday--I don't love it for gifts and stuff--however, I LOVE cards. Love them. I love the feeling that today is my own personal holiday that doesn't involve the stress of other holidays. I liked the surprise this morning when the guy at the gym said 'Happy Birthday!' because when I flashed my card it must have popped up on his computer. I love that my roomie left me a little birthday note this morning...I love that two of my crazy friends called me at in the 7:00 hour to be the first to wish me happy birthday. Call me an attention whore. I've been called worse I'm sure, behind my back of course! But, as my dad says--'it beats the alternative.'
Another nice touch. The Facebook birthday--there is nothing like people you haven't seen in 15 years wishing you a happy birthday--some people I'm sure we wouldn't recognize each other if we walked into each other on the street. (I'm always looking at my phone or at the ground...no.. i'm not, but it would explain why I walk into people.) It's like a little online birthday party goin' on for you ALL darn day!
The one exception my friend Jen pointed out is if your birthday falls on a Sunday....then you will have a VERY disappointing facebook birthday..because people aren't avoiding their work meeting, errands, report or other important tasks to write on your 'wall'. We all know that is really why anyone cares to wish you a happy birthday on good ole' FB!
Anyways. Today has so far been spent on some things I enjoy most in life: Coffee from Starbucks, a run at the gym, a lazy trip to Target. Oh, I am a simple person. Some homework has to find it's way into my afternoon...but, then MFC is coming to make me dinner...I think. He has changed his mind 85 times in the last 72 hours. Perhaps he is sensing I like a little surprise in my life. However, all he really needs to know is that this year his presence is the best present. Add to that my amazing friends and family and I have more blessings to count..mostly because I suck at math.
I stopped to take my 3rd phone call from my friend Matt. He distracted me long enough to clean my toilet, take out the trash, and sort recycling. Not acceptable birthday activities...Thanks Matt.
Anyways, in the next year the goals are as follows:
1. Laugh, love and dance. A lot. Maybe more than necessary, but, not necessarily in that order.
2. Try new foods. Who knew I like brussel sprouts now? Not me!
3. Show up. To life.
4. Do some things that scare me. Considering driving through the tunnels on 93 scare me, this is not going to be hard.
5. Stop apologizing for unnecessary things, but still be quick to apologize when necessary.
6. Wear more color.
7. Be kind to myself. I'm probably the only one who notices that extra 5-10 lbs.
8. At this time next year be about 8 weeks away from having my Master's degree and my teachers license. If for any reason this has to be postponed, I will not beat myself up. However, let's shoot for the first option.
9. Breathe.
Truth be told, I was not excited to turn 30 last year. I was having my first birthday melt down. This is not what 30 looked like when I was a kid...On the upside it looks a whole lot younger than when I was 5, 10, 15....20. But, I wasn't where I thought I should be.
Everyone said 31 is worse because it isn't the novelty of turning 30, you are actually IN your 30's. I'm just gonna say I dig it. My life doesn't look like what I thought, but I'm thinking this is way more fun. I feel like I am finding myself and challenging myself more and more everyday!
I love my birthday--I don't love it for gifts and stuff--however, I LOVE cards. Love them. I love the feeling that today is my own personal holiday that doesn't involve the stress of other holidays. I liked the surprise this morning when the guy at the gym said 'Happy Birthday!' because when I flashed my card it must have popped up on his computer. I love that my roomie left me a little birthday note this morning...I love that two of my crazy friends called me at in the 7:00 hour to be the first to wish me happy birthday. Call me an attention whore. I've been called worse I'm sure, behind my back of course! But, as my dad says--'it beats the alternative.'
Another nice touch. The Facebook birthday--there is nothing like people you haven't seen in 15 years wishing you a happy birthday--some people I'm sure we wouldn't recognize each other if we walked into each other on the street. (I'm always looking at my phone or at the ground...no.. i'm not, but it would explain why I walk into people.) It's like a little online birthday party goin' on for you ALL darn day!
The one exception my friend Jen pointed out is if your birthday falls on a Sunday....then you will have a VERY disappointing facebook birthday..because people aren't avoiding their work meeting, errands, report or other important tasks to write on your 'wall'. We all know that is really why anyone cares to wish you a happy birthday on good ole' FB!
Anyways. Today has so far been spent on some things I enjoy most in life: Coffee from Starbucks, a run at the gym, a lazy trip to Target. Oh, I am a simple person. Some homework has to find it's way into my afternoon...but, then MFC is coming to make me dinner...I think. He has changed his mind 85 times in the last 72 hours. Perhaps he is sensing I like a little surprise in my life. However, all he really needs to know is that this year his presence is the best present. Add to that my amazing friends and family and I have more blessings to count..mostly because I suck at math.
I stopped to take my 3rd phone call from my friend Matt. He distracted me long enough to clean my toilet, take out the trash, and sort recycling. Not acceptable birthday activities...Thanks Matt.
Anyways, in the next year the goals are as follows:
1. Laugh, love and dance. A lot. Maybe more than necessary, but, not necessarily in that order.
2. Try new foods. Who knew I like brussel sprouts now? Not me!
3. Show up. To life.
4. Do some things that scare me. Considering driving through the tunnels on 93 scare me, this is not going to be hard.
5. Stop apologizing for unnecessary things, but still be quick to apologize when necessary.
6. Wear more color.
7. Be kind to myself. I'm probably the only one who notices that extra 5-10 lbs.
8. At this time next year be about 8 weeks away from having my Master's degree and my teachers license. If for any reason this has to be postponed, I will not beat myself up. However, let's shoot for the first option.
9. Breathe.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies.
I for some reason was obsessed for a period in I think middle school with that Fleetwood Mac song...
However, it seems to be my blog theme as my last post was not, in fact, my 'last' public post. This might be... My problem is I discovered that when I go private I can only have 100 readers...this kinda cramps my style...there are more than 100 people who read this (who knew??)!
After an email from one reader sayin' they were 'Jonesin' for some decaf--trust me you CAN jones for the decaf, I realized that on this eve of my spring break I am jonesin' to write. I'm jonesin to write about anything that does not involve school work! I love being back in school, but let me tell you when I looked at the rest of my semester and all there is left to do all I could say is 'how WILL this all get done??'.
Anyways. Enough of that. What is new and what is on my mind?
Driving in the Cambridge area. Since the extreme snow fall this winter for a while we were stuck with snowbanks well above our heads. My town has maintained a 24 hour parking ban for the last month even though the snow has gone down. Driving in my area is already a bit like playing an intense video game. Most of the time you are dodging:
1. Pedestrians. Not just any pedestrians. Well...some are just your regular run of the mill pedestrians, but mostly they are multi-color leg-warmer wearing, crazy haired, pachouli scented pedestrians. They are lovely and very zen...or stoned. However, they definitely don't look before crossing the street.
2. Bike riders. I know I have to share the road, and I LOVE that this area is filled with active people, but some cyclists do not know proper etiquette and I am trying to get to class doing 15 miles an hour because he won't move to the right. Everyone who knows me knows that I always do at least 20 mph on side roads...35 on the highway ;-)
3. The 'T' Bus. SAVE YOURSELF. The buses do not care about you. They don't need you, they don't need anyone. T buses do not have to look before pulling out. If they hit you they can go. They are the 'T'. Seriously. If you have driven next to one, you know what I am talking about.
All of these things are an biggest lose obstacle course within itself. However, today was recycling week. People decided that even though their snow bank has melted low enough to leave their bins on top of it for the collectors, that it was a better idea to place them in the street. No. They did not blow there. They were PLACED in the road. So while I try to dodge the cars parked on the right, rainbow bright on my left, and billy bike rider in front of me I am also driving down the street with a recycle bin full of pasta boxes under my car. Sweet.
In other news I decided today that enough is enough. I am wearing some hibernation weight. Nothing crazy just an extra layer of warmth for the winter. It's March. Time for it to go. Why I have this extra layer when I work out 4-5 days a week and teach dance 2 days a week I'm not quite sure...However, it doesn't matter. After trying on my bathing suit the other day (I couldn't start that paper without knowing how my bathing suit looks right??) and lapsing into a deep depression, I started a diet. The next day I started again. For the past month I have started a diet every morning and by lunch time said eh....
This morning enough was enough. So..if you see me and I look cranky...I am. I want a snack.
However, it seems to be my blog theme as my last post was not, in fact, my 'last' public post. This might be... My problem is I discovered that when I go private I can only have 100 readers...this kinda cramps my style...there are more than 100 people who read this (who knew??)!
After an email from one reader sayin' they were 'Jonesin' for some decaf--trust me you CAN jones for the decaf, I realized that on this eve of my spring break I am jonesin' to write. I'm jonesin to write about anything that does not involve school work! I love being back in school, but let me tell you when I looked at the rest of my semester and all there is left to do all I could say is 'how WILL this all get done??'.
Anyways. Enough of that. What is new and what is on my mind?
Driving in the Cambridge area. Since the extreme snow fall this winter for a while we were stuck with snowbanks well above our heads. My town has maintained a 24 hour parking ban for the last month even though the snow has gone down. Driving in my area is already a bit like playing an intense video game. Most of the time you are dodging:
1. Pedestrians. Not just any pedestrians. Well...some are just your regular run of the mill pedestrians, but mostly they are multi-color leg-warmer wearing, crazy haired, pachouli scented pedestrians. They are lovely and very zen...or stoned. However, they definitely don't look before crossing the street.
2. Bike riders. I know I have to share the road, and I LOVE that this area is filled with active people, but some cyclists do not know proper etiquette and I am trying to get to class doing 15 miles an hour because he won't move to the right. Everyone who knows me knows that I always do at least 20 mph on side roads...35 on the highway ;-)
3. The 'T' Bus. SAVE YOURSELF. The buses do not care about you. They don't need you, they don't need anyone. T buses do not have to look before pulling out. If they hit you they can go. They are the 'T'. Seriously. If you have driven next to one, you know what I am talking about.
All of these things are an biggest lose obstacle course within itself. However, today was recycling week. People decided that even though their snow bank has melted low enough to leave their bins on top of it for the collectors, that it was a better idea to place them in the street. No. They did not blow there. They were PLACED in the road. So while I try to dodge the cars parked on the right, rainbow bright on my left, and billy bike rider in front of me I am also driving down the street with a recycle bin full of pasta boxes under my car. Sweet.
In other news I decided today that enough is enough. I am wearing some hibernation weight. Nothing crazy just an extra layer of warmth for the winter. It's March. Time for it to go. Why I have this extra layer when I work out 4-5 days a week and teach dance 2 days a week I'm not quite sure...However, it doesn't matter. After trying on my bathing suit the other day (I couldn't start that paper without knowing how my bathing suit looks right??) and lapsing into a deep depression, I started a diet. The next day I started again. For the past month I have started a diet every morning and by lunch time said eh....
This morning enough was enough. So..if you see me and I look cranky...I am. I want a snack.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Last public post: Being sick at 30.
**Just a reminder if you want to read my blog I will have to authorize you--I think using your e-mail. Once it goes private feel free to Facebook me, or e-mail me at: definitelydecaf@gmail.com **
At 3am on Wednesday morning I woke up sitting up on the couch. All the living-room lights on, and the TV turned up. This was the second time this week that one moment I was awake, the next moment I am waking up in the middle of the night on the couch. As I peeled myself off the couch I noticed my throat was really sore. I assumed it was dry air, snoring...you know. So, I got some water and went to bed.
I was planning on sleeping in, and at 7am when I could no longer sleep because my sore throat was so bad I got out of bed to get some juice. That will surely make it better. Then, I had a popsicle. That should do it. OK...maybe coffee? This is weird. I had some coffee and my throat was only getting worse. By 9AM I realized I couldn't move my neck. Turning side to side and up and down what a struggle. By ten AM my body ached so badly my clothes hurt to touch my skin. I swear I could feel my leg hair growing. Except my hair follicles had been replaced with needles. I was shaking. Upon taking my temperature and seeing it at 100.7, it was confirmed. Something was taking me down. I never run a fever, and certainly not for a cold. Yesterday I was convinced it was the flu and I silently cursed the $30 waste of money the flu shot was if I was gonna have the flu anyways. Getting off the couch to go to the bathroom was a major accomplishment.
Upon the advise from my nurse friend, I called my doctor and left a message to see if I could come in for a flu swab, took some Tylenol before bed and hoped for the best. This morning I woke to a 100 degree fever and the same symptoms except I was looking for a way to flip top my head and take my throat out.
It was around this time I realized I never brushed my teeth yesterday. Gross.
I decided I could not wait for the doctor to call me back (from yesterday). I decided to make my way to the local walk in clinic.
On my way out the door I grabbed a popsicle hoping for relief. I realized on my way there I was in my pajamas which also happened to be my clothes from yesterday. I had on a winter hat as my hair was matted to my head. So hot. As I alternated my car heater between hot and cold every 20 seconds or so depending on my shaking or clamminess I couldn't help but think how much better it was when my mom would drive me to the doctor. Driving yourself when you are sick is for the birds! What does that even mean? For the birds? It seems they are getting the shit end....anyways.
As the nurse took my temp and blood pressure I noticed I had somehow spit toothpaste on my thigh. How the hell did I do that?? Sigh.
They advised me to put on a mask to go back to the waiting room.
Picture this: Winter hat, winter coat, toothpaste yoga pants, ugg boots, face mask, pale face.
They led me into an exam room and waited for the doctor. He came in to find me sleeping on the exam table. When he listened to my heart and breathing he asked me to take off my zip up hoodie. I then realized I had on no bra. Just a tank top. I was really bringing the class. Then he reached into my armpits to feel my glands. Yeah. No deodorant yet today doc...just wet fever armpits. Lucky you.
Who let me out of the house???
Diagnosis? Strep throat and possible mono. Yeah. Mono. I will find out about that later. My boyfriend will be really excited if I have mono, cause let's face it--nothin' says luvin' like 'the kissing disease'.
I will be excited if I have mono because nothing says welcome to your first semester of grad school like mono...
If anyone is looking for me today I will be consuming mass quantities of ice cream and popsicles...and the very rare occurrence of me not wanting to talk is happening right now...and that only happens like Haley's Comet, once every seven years.
At 3am on Wednesday morning I woke up sitting up on the couch. All the living-room lights on, and the TV turned up. This was the second time this week that one moment I was awake, the next moment I am waking up in the middle of the night on the couch. As I peeled myself off the couch I noticed my throat was really sore. I assumed it was dry air, snoring...you know. So, I got some water and went to bed.
I was planning on sleeping in, and at 7am when I could no longer sleep because my sore throat was so bad I got out of bed to get some juice. That will surely make it better. Then, I had a popsicle. That should do it. OK...maybe coffee? This is weird. I had some coffee and my throat was only getting worse. By 9AM I realized I couldn't move my neck. Turning side to side and up and down what a struggle. By ten AM my body ached so badly my clothes hurt to touch my skin. I swear I could feel my leg hair growing. Except my hair follicles had been replaced with needles. I was shaking. Upon taking my temperature and seeing it at 100.7, it was confirmed. Something was taking me down. I never run a fever, and certainly not for a cold. Yesterday I was convinced it was the flu and I silently cursed the $30 waste of money the flu shot was if I was gonna have the flu anyways. Getting off the couch to go to the bathroom was a major accomplishment.
Upon the advise from my nurse friend, I called my doctor and left a message to see if I could come in for a flu swab, took some Tylenol before bed and hoped for the best. This morning I woke to a 100 degree fever and the same symptoms except I was looking for a way to flip top my head and take my throat out.
It was around this time I realized I never brushed my teeth yesterday. Gross.
I decided I could not wait for the doctor to call me back (from yesterday). I decided to make my way to the local walk in clinic.
On my way out the door I grabbed a popsicle hoping for relief. I realized on my way there I was in my pajamas which also happened to be my clothes from yesterday. I had on a winter hat as my hair was matted to my head. So hot. As I alternated my car heater between hot and cold every 20 seconds or so depending on my shaking or clamminess I couldn't help but think how much better it was when my mom would drive me to the doctor. Driving yourself when you are sick is for the birds! What does that even mean? For the birds? It seems they are getting the shit end....anyways.
As the nurse took my temp and blood pressure I noticed I had somehow spit toothpaste on my thigh. How the hell did I do that?? Sigh.
They advised me to put on a mask to go back to the waiting room.
Picture this: Winter hat, winter coat, toothpaste yoga pants, ugg boots, face mask, pale face.
They led me into an exam room and waited for the doctor. He came in to find me sleeping on the exam table. When he listened to my heart and breathing he asked me to take off my zip up hoodie. I then realized I had on no bra. Just a tank top. I was really bringing the class. Then he reached into my armpits to feel my glands. Yeah. No deodorant yet today doc...just wet fever armpits. Lucky you.
Who let me out of the house???
Diagnosis? Strep throat and possible mono. Yeah. Mono. I will find out about that later. My boyfriend will be really excited if I have mono, cause let's face it--nothin' says luvin' like 'the kissing disease'.
I will be excited if I have mono because nothing says welcome to your first semester of grad school like mono...
If anyone is looking for me today I will be consuming mass quantities of ice cream and popsicles...and the very rare occurrence of me not wanting to talk is happening right now...and that only happens like Haley's Comet, once every seven years.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
BIG DECAF BLOG UPDATE..
**BIG Definitely Decaf Update**
This blog will be going private within the next week. What does this mean to you my loyal...or sort of loyal..or I found this accidentally readers? It means that you will need to sign in to read my blog.
When this happens, you will need to be an authorized reader of my blog. If you have any trouble doing this please click on 'email me' and..well, e-mail me and I will approve you!
I am sorry this has to happen for those of you who like to read this in private. As is with most things in life, all it takes is one creeper to ruin the party! So, everyone say a kind thank you to all the creeps out there and we will be Decaf in private...you know..where decaf drinkers should live anyways!
Also, there will be a news alert after this goes private--stay tuned!
As Carly Simon once said...'You probably think this blog post is about you..don't you? DON'T YOU??'...Maybe she didn't say those exact words, but if she had a blog and not a song...she would have said that. Totally.
This is also a function of my new career choice, so creepers can't take all the credit!
Stay tuned as I figure this out.
This blog will be going private within the next week. What does this mean to you my loyal...or sort of loyal..or I found this accidentally readers? It means that you will need to sign in to read my blog.
When this happens, you will need to be an authorized reader of my blog. If you have any trouble doing this please click on 'email me' and..well, e-mail me and I will approve you!
I am sorry this has to happen for those of you who like to read this in private. As is with most things in life, all it takes is one creeper to ruin the party! So, everyone say a kind thank you to all the creeps out there and we will be Decaf in private...you know..where decaf drinkers should live anyways!
Also, there will be a news alert after this goes private--stay tuned!
As Carly Simon once said...'You probably think this blog post is about you..don't you? DON'T YOU??'...Maybe she didn't say those exact words, but if she had a blog and not a song...she would have said that. Totally.
This is also a function of my new career choice, so creepers can't take all the credit!
Stay tuned as I figure this out.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Me and Julio down by the school yard...well..just me..and there was no yard.
Going back to school after being out of school for 8 years is exactly like going back to grade school. Well, without my colored braces, awkwardly huge glasses, underdeveloped body, and poor fashion sense. I'm sure someone out there has a picture of me in my horrific glory that was grades 6-8...maybe give or take a few years..
I digress.
First day of grad school. So, there is really no parking at my campus. It is in the city and the parking permits are ridiculously expensive and mostly exclusive to undergrad-campus dwelling students and faculty. Night students have a couple of options:
1. Public Transportation
2. Paid parking lot
3. Metered parking that stops needing to be fed at 6pm
On Tuesday, my first night of class, I looked for a metered spot. Class starts at 4 and I am in classes until 9:15. I would have to sneak out and feed the meter one quarter at some point. However, my nerves got the best of me and I felt I was running out of time. I investigated the parking lot. Doing the math in my head I realized it was going to cost $15 to park. WHAT?? No freakin way.
However, someone pulled in next to me, time was running out and I read in parenthesis that I could validate my ticket by showing a receipt from a store in the building. They had a space for how much money you were required to spend. It looked like this: ( ). I took this to mean, you could buy anything--a pack of gum perhaps and only pay $8. This of course was also too much, but I didn't really have a choice.
If you are wondering why I didn't take public transportation at this point let me tell you that it would cost me $7 to park at the T station and $3 round trip. This would also tack on at least an extra hour to my day.
After dodging snow banks and angry students and almost hitting several pedestrians as they leapt out at me from behind said snow banks I found a spot and made my way inside.
I had a pack of gum, so the first thing I saw in the book store was Mentos. Good choice.
I will bring my receipt for $1.00 to the desk and validate that ticket!
Funny thing. The minimum requirement for your receipt at the security desk is $50. Huh. That's a little different. Now I'm stuck with a $16 pack of 'the fresh maker'.
However, these came in handy when I realized at about 7pm that in my anxiousness to get to class I didn't even think about packing dinner or a snack. You'd be surprised at how satisfying the entire pack can be when you are starving!
The rest of the week went something like this in my head:
*This is amazing, I am so excited to learn
* It is kinda awesome to be in class when you actually care
* These teachers are so great!
* Wow I feel old.
* Wow I feel young.
* I hope I didn't get a ticket
* Wow I feel stupid
* Pull it together your fine
* I'm never going to see my friends and family again...well, at least until next year
* How the heck am I going to fit in all of that class observation time
* Was this a good idea?
* Shit, I have to go feed the meter
* Is that girl seriously on facebook in class?
* Is that girl seriously online shopping in CLASS???.... cute shirt...what's that website..?
* Am I smart enough to teach children?
* Shit..I have to feed the meter
* Are they going to explain that assignment?
* What class am I in?
* Shit..I'm next...'Hi, my name is Alison... (shit..what's my major???)'
* How do I write a bibiliography? I can't even spell it!
* THANK GOD I HAVE SOMETHING TO DO AGAIN!!
* What time is it...I have to feed the meter...good thing I wore my boots seeing as I have to climb a snow bank over my head to get to it!
*
I digress.
First day of grad school. So, there is really no parking at my campus. It is in the city and the parking permits are ridiculously expensive and mostly exclusive to undergrad-campus dwelling students and faculty. Night students have a couple of options:
1. Public Transportation
2. Paid parking lot
3. Metered parking that stops needing to be fed at 6pm
On Tuesday, my first night of class, I looked for a metered spot. Class starts at 4 and I am in classes until 9:15. I would have to sneak out and feed the meter one quarter at some point. However, my nerves got the best of me and I felt I was running out of time. I investigated the parking lot. Doing the math in my head I realized it was going to cost $15 to park. WHAT?? No freakin way.
However, someone pulled in next to me, time was running out and I read in parenthesis that I could validate my ticket by showing a receipt from a store in the building. They had a space for how much money you were required to spend. It looked like this: ( ). I took this to mean, you could buy anything--a pack of gum perhaps and only pay $8. This of course was also too much, but I didn't really have a choice.
If you are wondering why I didn't take public transportation at this point let me tell you that it would cost me $7 to park at the T station and $3 round trip. This would also tack on at least an extra hour to my day.
After dodging snow banks and angry students and almost hitting several pedestrians as they leapt out at me from behind said snow banks I found a spot and made my way inside.
I had a pack of gum, so the first thing I saw in the book store was Mentos. Good choice.
I will bring my receipt for $1.00 to the desk and validate that ticket!
Funny thing. The minimum requirement for your receipt at the security desk is $50. Huh. That's a little different. Now I'm stuck with a $16 pack of 'the fresh maker'.
However, these came in handy when I realized at about 7pm that in my anxiousness to get to class I didn't even think about packing dinner or a snack. You'd be surprised at how satisfying the entire pack can be when you are starving!
The rest of the week went something like this in my head:
*This is amazing, I am so excited to learn
* It is kinda awesome to be in class when you actually care
* These teachers are so great!
* Wow I feel old.
* Wow I feel young.
* I hope I didn't get a ticket
* Wow I feel stupid
* Pull it together your fine
* I'm never going to see my friends and family again...well, at least until next year
* How the heck am I going to fit in all of that class observation time
* Was this a good idea?
* Shit, I have to go feed the meter
* Is that girl seriously on facebook in class?
* Is that girl seriously online shopping in CLASS???.... cute shirt...what's that website..?
* Am I smart enough to teach children?
* Shit..I have to feed the meter
* Are they going to explain that assignment?
* What class am I in?
* Shit..I'm next...'Hi, my name is Alison... (shit..what's my major???)'
* How do I write a bibiliography? I can't even spell it!
* THANK GOD I HAVE SOMETHING TO DO AGAIN!!
* What time is it...I have to feed the meter...good thing I wore my boots seeing as I have to climb a snow bank over my head to get to it!
*
Monday, January 17, 2011
Mom..what are you doing in the woods?
I'm not going to lie, going to get my nose pierced alone made me feel a little brave...a little bad ass. You know, in an I'm almost 31 and this is about as bad ass as I'm gonna get kinda way. Maybe in my own head it made me a little cocky. Yeah. I'm so tough. When I was a little kid I wanted to go on every ride. The faster, the higher, the scarier the better. Fearless.
Apparently, nothing brings you (and by 'you' I mean 'me') back down to the reality of your own truth like a sled and a snow mobile.
As I wrote in my last post, I went sledding. Did I mention I wouldn't go from the top? I may have...Oh..I didn't? Yeah. I was too scared to go from the top. I picked what I thought was a 'safer' place on the hill about 5 feet from the top. That extra 5 feet really could have done me in you know.
Then, Saturday night there was the snow mobile incident.
We were at MFC's sister's (gorgeous) house to watch some football and hang out. The prospect of a little ride around on their snow mobile was tossed around. I was totally up for it. Totally excited. I had never been on one before!
I'm not nervous at all as his sister suits me up in some snow pants and a warmer jacket than I had brought. Looking totally ridiculous--yet warm we head outside.
I *might* have had a twinge of anxiety as I saw her husband peel out and tear around the path that went around the house. However...I'm totally bad ass. This is fine.
Fast forward to me on the back and MFC driving. The engine revs and we go about two feet before I scream in his ear bloody murder. I am now certain death is near.
He laughs at me and picks up a little speed. As we take the first corner I do the only natural thing when you feel panic. I try and take control of the situation. By 'take control' I mean letting go of MFC, reaching around and GRABBING THE HANDLES. Because, someone on the back who has never been on a snow mobile never mind driving it taking the handles is certainly safer.
The rest of the ride sounded something likes this:
Me: 'JASON!!!' (MFC's actual full name...that I never really use..I call him Jay...unless I am with my family where that has been banned as my father's name is Jay and people get confused and nervous, or I have taken to callinng him by his last name. However his full name is the name that naturally came out of my mouth when I saw certain doom.)
Me (again): 'JAAASSSOOONN!!!!!!!!' (imagine the most annoying screaming voice your own mother can make when you have just sent her over the edge. That was my voice. I think I turned around to check that my mother was not in fact standing in the woods..because that voice couldn't be coming out of my mouth...that sounds exactly like...OH MY GOD...I JUST TURNED INTO MY MOTHER!! --You're welcome mom!)
Me..(still): STOP TRYING TO SCARE ME!! JAAASSSOONNN!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
MFC (stopping the vehicle): Umm...I have to give it some gas for it to go...you are screaming everytime I give it ANY gas...
Me: JUST LOOK AT THE PATH!!! Stop looking at me!!
For some reason he thought I wasn't having fun...hmm..that's weird. However, it was a blast and the tear tracks that were frozen down my face were more from laughing at my ridiculousness than from you know actual sadness.
We went around a few times, and was never more relieved than when the kids tied sleds to the back..you know..cause you have to be careful with kids.
The difference between the two of us was never more apparent than after I drove just slightly slower than I drive on the highway (about 30 miles an hour...OK 20...my friends don't call me grandma for no reason!) barely making it through the snow because I wasn't going fast enough.
Then he took off alone and you see the boy with a toy come out as he flew around the house with pure abandon.
On my next trip around his sister encouraged me to 'let go! be one with the snow mobile! loose control!!'......
My entire body god stiff..'lose control'??? Who does that??? What does that mean?? People DO that??
So much for my inner bad ass...sigh..
Next time I may not lose control..but, I may just try to not scream in his ear..or at least lower my volume.
Apparently, nothing brings you (and by 'you' I mean 'me') back down to the reality of your own truth like a sled and a snow mobile.
As I wrote in my last post, I went sledding. Did I mention I wouldn't go from the top? I may have...Oh..I didn't? Yeah. I was too scared to go from the top. I picked what I thought was a 'safer' place on the hill about 5 feet from the top. That extra 5 feet really could have done me in you know.
Then, Saturday night there was the snow mobile incident.
We were at MFC's sister's (gorgeous) house to watch some football and hang out. The prospect of a little ride around on their snow mobile was tossed around. I was totally up for it. Totally excited. I had never been on one before!
I'm not nervous at all as his sister suits me up in some snow pants and a warmer jacket than I had brought. Looking totally ridiculous--yet warm we head outside.
I *might* have had a twinge of anxiety as I saw her husband peel out and tear around the path that went around the house. However...I'm totally bad ass. This is fine.
Fast forward to me on the back and MFC driving. The engine revs and we go about two feet before I scream in his ear bloody murder. I am now certain death is near.
He laughs at me and picks up a little speed. As we take the first corner I do the only natural thing when you feel panic. I try and take control of the situation. By 'take control' I mean letting go of MFC, reaching around and GRABBING THE HANDLES. Because, someone on the back who has never been on a snow mobile never mind driving it taking the handles is certainly safer.
The rest of the ride sounded something likes this:
Me: 'JASON!!!' (MFC's actual full name...that I never really use..I call him Jay...unless I am with my family where that has been banned as my father's name is Jay and people get confused and nervous, or I have taken to callinng him by his last name. However his full name is the name that naturally came out of my mouth when I saw certain doom.)
Me (again): 'JAAASSSOOONN!!!!!!!!' (imagine the most annoying screaming voice your own mother can make when you have just sent her over the edge. That was my voice. I think I turned around to check that my mother was not in fact standing in the woods..because that voice couldn't be coming out of my mouth...that sounds exactly like...OH MY GOD...I JUST TURNED INTO MY MOTHER!! --You're welcome mom!)
Me..(still): STOP TRYING TO SCARE ME!! JAAASSSOONNN!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
MFC (stopping the vehicle): Umm...I have to give it some gas for it to go...you are screaming everytime I give it ANY gas...
Me: JUST LOOK AT THE PATH!!! Stop looking at me!!
For some reason he thought I wasn't having fun...hmm..that's weird. However, it was a blast and the tear tracks that were frozen down my face were more from laughing at my ridiculousness than from you know actual sadness.
We went around a few times, and was never more relieved than when the kids tied sleds to the back..you know..cause you have to be careful with kids.
The difference between the two of us was never more apparent than after I drove just slightly slower than I drive on the highway (about 30 miles an hour...OK 20...my friends don't call me grandma for no reason!) barely making it through the snow because I wasn't going fast enough.
Then he took off alone and you see the boy with a toy come out as he flew around the house with pure abandon.
On my next trip around his sister encouraged me to 'let go! be one with the snow mobile! loose control!!'......
My entire body god stiff..'lose control'??? Who does that??? What does that mean?? People DO that??
So much for my inner bad ass...sigh..
Next time I may not lose control..but, I may just try to not scream in his ear..or at least lower my volume.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
I sled like a dude.
I was told by two men this week that I was like a man. Once by a good friend. Once by my boyfriend. I'm not sure how I feel about this, because in this case--they were right.
It all started the other night when MFC was coming over to get snowed in. I have been hell bent on going sledding--one problem, no sled. Certainly this would be easy to find. On Tuesday I was at Target picking some things up. I wandered for about an hour looking for sleds. I didn't see any. I was one of the first people there that day--it was not busy. I made eye contact with several associates, and smiled. I did not ask if they had any sleds.
I left.
Later in the afternoon as I called around to multiple places I was informed there were no sleds. I chatted with my friend Matt, who asked me about Target. I told him I didn't see any...'Did you ask?'.
'Umm..no..'
He then told me I was like a guy who would rather drive around lost for 3 hours than ask for directions. I couldn't argue. He had a point.
I called Target. They had sleds (of course).
When MFC arrived I told him we had to go on a field trip. Off we went to Target. As we made our way through my small town past all the local shops there was one store with all different kinds of sleds in the window. I pointed it out. Did we stop? Nope. We pressed on to Target--where we found one kind of sled that was really more like a boogie board. Over-priced and not what we wanted.
As we wandered around looking---MFC also pointed out that I was like a man..because I didn't want to ask.
So, we asked. Nope, no other sleds. We left to go back to the store on the main road in my town. Yeah. They were closed.
We drove to the center of town. On our way we past a sporting goods store with sleds in the window. Closed.
We got to the center of town and at the toy store there they were. Taunting us from the closed storefront. Sleds just calling my name.
Seriously?? It is 7:30. Everywhere is closed.
Fast forward to yesterday morning. After shoveling I insisted on driving my little Nissan Sentra around the slippery streets to take in the scenery, find coffee, and..a sled.
The store I initially passed did NOT let us down this time! Sled success!
Like any man who finds his destination...EVENTUALLY...I found our sled, thank you very much!
Then to find a hill. We drove until we saw kids with sleds and trying not to be weird adults we pulled over and asked where we could sled. The 13 year olds gave us directions to a great hill and off we went.
I just want to say...we had a blast-the only childless adults at the place, and the only adults going down the hill. One 2/3 year old remarked 'WOW! They havin' fun muma!'...but, it sure is different when you sled in your 30's. You are very aware of everything that could go wrong--and the fearlessness in the kids faces around us as they build huge bumps to fly off of was priceless..I don't have that fearlessness unfortunately. Yeah. I didn't even go all the way from the top! This fact reminded everyone that I am-in fact, a girl.
It all started the other night when MFC was coming over to get snowed in. I have been hell bent on going sledding--one problem, no sled. Certainly this would be easy to find. On Tuesday I was at Target picking some things up. I wandered for about an hour looking for sleds. I didn't see any. I was one of the first people there that day--it was not busy. I made eye contact with several associates, and smiled. I did not ask if they had any sleds.
I left.
Later in the afternoon as I called around to multiple places I was informed there were no sleds. I chatted with my friend Matt, who asked me about Target. I told him I didn't see any...'Did you ask?'.
'Umm..no..'
He then told me I was like a guy who would rather drive around lost for 3 hours than ask for directions. I couldn't argue. He had a point.
I called Target. They had sleds (of course).
When MFC arrived I told him we had to go on a field trip. Off we went to Target. As we made our way through my small town past all the local shops there was one store with all different kinds of sleds in the window. I pointed it out. Did we stop? Nope. We pressed on to Target--where we found one kind of sled that was really more like a boogie board. Over-priced and not what we wanted.
As we wandered around looking---MFC also pointed out that I was like a man..because I didn't want to ask.
So, we asked. Nope, no other sleds. We left to go back to the store on the main road in my town. Yeah. They were closed.
We drove to the center of town. On our way we past a sporting goods store with sleds in the window. Closed.
We got to the center of town and at the toy store there they were. Taunting us from the closed storefront. Sleds just calling my name.
Seriously?? It is 7:30. Everywhere is closed.
Fast forward to yesterday morning. After shoveling I insisted on driving my little Nissan Sentra around the slippery streets to take in the scenery, find coffee, and..a sled.
The store I initially passed did NOT let us down this time! Sled success!
Like any man who finds his destination...EVENTUALLY...I found our sled, thank you very much!
Then to find a hill. We drove until we saw kids with sleds and trying not to be weird adults we pulled over and asked where we could sled. The 13 year olds gave us directions to a great hill and off we went.
I just want to say...we had a blast-the only childless adults at the place, and the only adults going down the hill. One 2/3 year old remarked 'WOW! They havin' fun muma!'...but, it sure is different when you sled in your 30's. You are very aware of everything that could go wrong--and the fearlessness in the kids faces around us as they build huge bumps to fly off of was priceless..I don't have that fearlessness unfortunately. Yeah. I didn't even go all the way from the top! This fact reminded everyone that I am-in fact, a girl.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
I feel like a girl of 15!
I've been talking for weeks now about wanting to pierce my nose. Truth be told, for years I've wanted to pierce my nose. No particular reason, I just kinda really like it..and I always think when I see people with a small tasteful one that I would like to do that.
For my 30th birthday I was suppose to get a tattoo. I bailed out of that. I have never been able to think of anything I would permanently want on my body that I wouldn't regret. I also couldn't decide where to put it. I will be 31 exactly 2 months from today. Still no tattoo.
I realized today that I seem to do important things on the 9th of every month.
I was born on March 9th. I quit smoking on November 9th. I pierced my nose on January 9th.
The very uncharacteristic thing about today's nose 'blinging' is that I went totally alone. I was planning on dragging MFC along with me but, we really haven't made it happen, so today before I drove home I asked my roommate if she was around to come--she was not...hmm.
I thought to myself 'Self, you know what? Just put on your big girl panties and do it alone. Suck it up.'
I knew no one could come in with me anyways...just go do it. And, I did. I felt kinda brave. I mean as brave as I get really when I'm in the eclectic city I live near with a seriously tattooed up dude holding a needle to my nose.
Of course when I walked in I demanded to know about the sterilization methods they employed and he was a champ and walked me through it all.
I knew I could be in trouble when I started to sweat and started rolling up my sleeves. It was not unlike the feeling I get when taking off in a plane that makes me start peeling off my clothes at an alarming rate to my friends and fellow passengers. It's called anxiety.
Within 30 seconds it was over and I must say my left nostril feels very fancy.
I called my mother to tell her she said simply: 'Why?' (in that vaguely heart-broken mother voice that says I created you in my womb and I'm pretty sure I made you a lovely face and now you have screwed it up by putting a piercing in it WHY?? WHYY???)
My father called and I told him and he said: 'Hmm...Hmmmm...huh..well. Huh. Call your cousin' (the one who is 18 and has a bunch of piercings because she will be happy for you and I am not that happy for you because number one I'm afraid you look like a freak, number two your 30 and I thought we were past this and number three I could barely handle when you lost your baby teeth never mind putting something in your nose on purpose) 'Enjoy your piercing'.
I kinda feel like a rebellious teenager...maybe I should sneak some wine out of my own house and have a party in the woods to celebrate?
For my 30th birthday I was suppose to get a tattoo. I bailed out of that. I have never been able to think of anything I would permanently want on my body that I wouldn't regret. I also couldn't decide where to put it. I will be 31 exactly 2 months from today. Still no tattoo.
I realized today that I seem to do important things on the 9th of every month.
I was born on March 9th. I quit smoking on November 9th. I pierced my nose on January 9th.
The very uncharacteristic thing about today's nose 'blinging' is that I went totally alone. I was planning on dragging MFC along with me but, we really haven't made it happen, so today before I drove home I asked my roommate if she was around to come--she was not...hmm.
I thought to myself 'Self, you know what? Just put on your big girl panties and do it alone. Suck it up.'
I knew no one could come in with me anyways...just go do it. And, I did. I felt kinda brave. I mean as brave as I get really when I'm in the eclectic city I live near with a seriously tattooed up dude holding a needle to my nose.
Of course when I walked in I demanded to know about the sterilization methods they employed and he was a champ and walked me through it all.
I knew I could be in trouble when I started to sweat and started rolling up my sleeves. It was not unlike the feeling I get when taking off in a plane that makes me start peeling off my clothes at an alarming rate to my friends and fellow passengers. It's called anxiety.
Within 30 seconds it was over and I must say my left nostril feels very fancy.
I called my mother to tell her she said simply: 'Why?' (in that vaguely heart-broken mother voice that says I created you in my womb and I'm pretty sure I made you a lovely face and now you have screwed it up by putting a piercing in it WHY?? WHYY???)
My father called and I told him and he said: 'Hmm...Hmmmm...huh..well. Huh. Call your cousin' (the one who is 18 and has a bunch of piercings because she will be happy for you and I am not that happy for you because number one I'm afraid you look like a freak, number two your 30 and I thought we were past this and number three I could barely handle when you lost your baby teeth never mind putting something in your nose on purpose) 'Enjoy your piercing'.
I kinda feel like a rebellious teenager...maybe I should sneak some wine out of my own house and have a party in the woods to celebrate?
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Happy New Year! Put on your water socks and eat in the store!
Well, here it is January 6th and as I have not posted yet this year as you can imagine my New Year started with a bang! Bang is a strong word..but, I am hoping it is a good enough excuse to not have posted.
As some of you may know I have already witnessed the human condition at its finest this year. If you don't know, let me fill you in.
Picture this, Target on a Tuesday morning. I was in the baking isle as I was preparing to make our fellow tenants upstairs cookies for the holidays (late, I know) because they are awesome and always take the trash barrels to the curb and shoveled the driveway on our side last week.
I see a woman next to me. I hear something hitting the ground, not unlike marbles. I look and realize it is chocolate chips. I also hear the bag ripping some more. I then see her take a handful and sample them.
She then puts them back. It was all I could do to not say 'excuse me ma'am...I don't think anyone else is going to want to sample that bag after you have, and I'm also fairly certain that no one wants to buy open goods. You may as well bring them around the store and finish them, or throw them away. OR if you really want to get crazy bring them to customer service and say 'Oh, hey I found these open in the isle'. Has anyone told you that is not appropriate??'... Instead I loudly said 'REALLY??!!'
Passive aggressive? Maybe. OK, yes. I couldn't help myself.
Picture this. Boston Sports Club. Tuesday night. My good friend and I are signed up for 'Bodypump'. We circle the parking lot endless times looking for a space. It took forever. New Years resolutions. We got into the class and it was like a junior high dance. Tightly packed sweaty bodies, but no one getting close enough to actually touch. It was so jammed I wanted to turn around and leave. However, I stayed. All will be back to normal in one month. What I didn't find normal was the man on the stair climber with water socks on (lake shoes, water shoes--pick your term) and shorts. He also was sporting a shirt that was too short letting it all hang out--perhaps to remind himself and all of us what his resolution was.
Me personally, I like to stare at those parts in shame in my bedroom or bathroom and do my best to hide them in the general public. Good for him. He is (literally) putting it out there. As for the water socks, a friend of mine suggested it was not an accident. She saw the same look at her gym..she thinks it is preventative as the man sweat so badly he left a pool of sweat at his feet..he had to mop up the floor..
Perhaps his other resolution was foresight.
Which brings me to resolutions. What are mine for the year?
1. Lose the extra 8 pounds I gained in July/August. However, that is a kinda silly goal. Wanna know what it really is? I would LOVE to be able to work out in a sports bra and those super short black shorts. Not at the same time. I would never actually do this, but I would like to know the option is there. That is enough for me.
2. Ask for less opinions. Opinions of friends and family are important to me. I am known to ask for about 11 or so opinions for every decision I make. I've heard a rumor the only on that counts when the decision involves me...is me. Huh. Weird.
3. Not put my life on a time table. I hope for lots of things in my life. I wish for lots of things. However, I've learned that some of these things are not totally in my control. Lots of time is wasted putting life on a time table and thinking more into the future and less into the now. I'm all about the now. The now is pretty fabulous by the way. I definitely like living in it. Even when it scares me.
4. Maybe I need to get a little crazy. Live a little. I'm not talking jumping out of a plane, but maybe I should try something like...water socks and a half shirt at the gym, or snacking on chocolate chips in the store and putting them back. Baby steps.
As some of you may know I have already witnessed the human condition at its finest this year. If you don't know, let me fill you in.
Picture this, Target on a Tuesday morning. I was in the baking isle as I was preparing to make our fellow tenants upstairs cookies for the holidays (late, I know) because they are awesome and always take the trash barrels to the curb and shoveled the driveway on our side last week.
I see a woman next to me. I hear something hitting the ground, not unlike marbles. I look and realize it is chocolate chips. I also hear the bag ripping some more. I then see her take a handful and sample them.
She then puts them back. It was all I could do to not say 'excuse me ma'am...I don't think anyone else is going to want to sample that bag after you have, and I'm also fairly certain that no one wants to buy open goods. You may as well bring them around the store and finish them, or throw them away. OR if you really want to get crazy bring them to customer service and say 'Oh, hey I found these open in the isle'. Has anyone told you that is not appropriate??'... Instead I loudly said 'REALLY??!!'
Passive aggressive? Maybe. OK, yes. I couldn't help myself.
Picture this. Boston Sports Club. Tuesday night. My good friend and I are signed up for 'Bodypump'. We circle the parking lot endless times looking for a space. It took forever. New Years resolutions. We got into the class and it was like a junior high dance. Tightly packed sweaty bodies, but no one getting close enough to actually touch. It was so jammed I wanted to turn around and leave. However, I stayed. All will be back to normal in one month. What I didn't find normal was the man on the stair climber with water socks on (lake shoes, water shoes--pick your term) and shorts. He also was sporting a shirt that was too short letting it all hang out--perhaps to remind himself and all of us what his resolution was.
Me personally, I like to stare at those parts in shame in my bedroom or bathroom and do my best to hide them in the general public. Good for him. He is (literally) putting it out there. As for the water socks, a friend of mine suggested it was not an accident. She saw the same look at her gym..she thinks it is preventative as the man sweat so badly he left a pool of sweat at his feet..he had to mop up the floor..
Perhaps his other resolution was foresight.
Which brings me to resolutions. What are mine for the year?
1. Lose the extra 8 pounds I gained in July/August. However, that is a kinda silly goal. Wanna know what it really is? I would LOVE to be able to work out in a sports bra and those super short black shorts. Not at the same time. I would never actually do this, but I would like to know the option is there. That is enough for me.
2. Ask for less opinions. Opinions of friends and family are important to me. I am known to ask for about 11 or so opinions for every decision I make. I've heard a rumor the only on that counts when the decision involves me...is me. Huh. Weird.
3. Not put my life on a time table. I hope for lots of things in my life. I wish for lots of things. However, I've learned that some of these things are not totally in my control. Lots of time is wasted putting life on a time table and thinking more into the future and less into the now. I'm all about the now. The now is pretty fabulous by the way. I definitely like living in it. Even when it scares me.
4. Maybe I need to get a little crazy. Live a little. I'm not talking jumping out of a plane, but maybe I should try something like...water socks and a half shirt at the gym, or snacking on chocolate chips in the store and putting them back. Baby steps.
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