Monday, November 12, 2012

Sweet, Sweet trouble.

A couple of days ago I received this text from a friend:

'Apparently, (and I haven't confirmed this yet), they are now making Christmas Cadbury Mini Eggs'.

Well.  This is going to be a problem.  I may or may not have mentioned my problem with the Easter variety of these delicacies.  There was an incident in 2006 or 2007 where I went off the deep end and was eating them for breakfast.  To make matters worse, the day after Easter these bad boys go on a deep discount.  Naturally, I have a fear of not being able to eat them to my hearts content as they are only seasonal, and have to buy them in bulk.

The draw to these pieces of heaven is not hard to understand:  crisp, thin candy shell in a variety of 'spring is just around the corner' colors, rich chocolate which is some sort of perfect balance between milk and dark chocolate.  I'm sorry, I just drooled.
Most experts would agree that the best way to truly enjoy these is by sucking on them and letting them melt in your mouth so as not to disrespect the experience of the deliciousness.

Upon further investigation it seems that these are regularly available in Canada and the MIGHT be available in the US.  However, this does not mean I am off the hook.  Did I mention my father in law lives in Canada and comes here every year at Christmas time?  Swoon.

Sunday, November 11, 2012

She's BA-Ack.

Back by popular demand!  (By popular, I mean the 3 people who have been asking me 'why can't I see your blog anymore??).  After taking a year off to do a couple of lifestyle housekeeping things: finishing my Masters, moving twice, getting married, I have decided to come back to the world of blogging.  I'm not 100% sure what road this little blog o' mine will take, but I am aware I need to narrow the focus down.  I'm thinking it is going to morph into some sort of journey of my life blah blah blah. Hopefully less blah blah and more ha ha.  Basically, more of the same. Life is crazy, and I think it is time we all just had a good laugh about it over a nice cup of decaf..don't you?  Don't worry, you can totally make yours caffeinated.

Monday, August 8, 2011

File this under: Things you should do alone.

After a long hiatus from writing leave it to me to start up again with a post that is sure to horrify some.  I am about to take a secret and blow it up, right here, right now.  Blowing your nose in the shower.  I'm a huge fan of this.  I figured this was something everyone did until I read in 'Glamour' or 'Cosmo' years ago that everyone did not appreciate this habit.  A girl actually wrote in and was considering breaking up with her boyfriend because she couldn't handle his water laden sinus empty-ing ways.
MFC's brother is also firmly against this act.  However, I stand behind my belief that if you do not blow your nose whilst in a steamy hot shower, you are missing out on one of life's true joys. And to commit this act when you have a cold and can't breathe?  Brilliant.
I admit, it is not the most lady like thing that I do but, I do it alone.  It's not like I'm in the car picking my nose.  MFC was extremely excited by my declaration, as he is about most things that I do that make me more like a dude than a lady.  I think it's because it makes him feel more free to be himself or something..

So, about a month ago we were on a trip to visit his family in Nova Scotia.  You really get to know someone during an 11 hour car ride and a week of both of you out of your comfort zone.  I walk into the bathroom while he was in the shower (don't worry mom and dad, obviously he showers in a bathing suit) and I can see that at first glance he is not in the running shower.  I look a little closer through the clear curtain and see that he is sort of..squatting in the shower..
Me: 'Um, babe? What are you doing?'
Him (with a tone that says..isn't it clear??):  'I'm blowing my nose'
Me:  'What are you on the ground?'
Him:  'I'm squatting'
Me:  'clearly!'
Him:  'That's how I blow my nose in the shower-I don't want it to get everywhere!'.
Obviously, this is an act best done alone.

Friday, June 24, 2011

What keeps me up at night

Every night this week I have woken up at 2am unable to sleep.  The first night I answered email, the second night  MFC rolled over and asked me 'what are you doing?', 'Oh, just playing Scrabble on my phone in the dark', last night I thought I would make it productive.  What is keeping you up?  Why I can't really figure out what the problem is, I can tell you some possibilities:  

1.  My neighbors upstairs.  At any given point in the day they are up.  I swear they don't need sleep.  There is about 80 of them and if they do sleep it must be in shifts.  Between their youngest kids getting ready for high school at 6am, their 1 year old grandchild crying at 2pm, the dad loud talking at 11pm, or the 19 year old sneaking out at 3am, (I may live downstairs from 'The Duggars'), there is always something to hear.  However, they take out the garbage most weeks before we can get to I can't complain..

2.  The elderly.  Literally.  Who could be worse than a 19 year old?  The 79 year olds.  The ones in my neighborhood are up late night talking in the street without their hearing aids..There is a lot of vocal projection going on.

3.  Toddlers And Tiaras.  A lot of time is spent talking about how our parents screwed us up.  I'm not going to talk about that, that is what therapy is for.  (Just kidding mom and dad!).  I'm going to talk about what my parents did RIGHT.  When I was born my mom always tells me how she was sure she was having a boy and she was so freaked out that I was a girl because she 'didn't know what to do with a girl'.  My mom grew up more of a tomboy and was gorgeous without a drop of makeup in her sassy bell bottoms.  Naturally, she got a girly girl.  I was obsessed with my aunts 'high heelies', gave myself black eyes if left alone with a container of blue eyeshadow, and insisted that black lace fingerless gloves and black lace easter dress like Madonna were totally appropriate for church on Easter.  Oh, the horror that my mom wouldn't buy me anything black lace at 4 years old!  
As you can see if my mom was like ANY of the mothers on Toddlers And Tiaras I could have gone down a dark path.  It would have been spray tans, big hair, Red Bull, and extensions by 5.  
Seriously, if you haven't watched it you only need to watch one--I've only watched it once.  I knew it would be awful but, I just didn't know the extent.  There was one woman giving her daughter beef jerkey every time she did something on stage like a show dog!  Also, what 5 year old needs Red bull??  I am 31 and can't handle it, which isn't saying much because I don't even drink caffeinated coffee, but who really needs to see a temper tantrum on Red Bull??? Not this girl.  Also, there is something deeply disturbing about seeing  the face of a 28 year old on a 4 year olds body with a pacifier in her mouth..just sayin'.  
And that is what keeps me up at night this week.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

BRUINS WIN! Thank my boyfriend..

I bet you're wondering who you can thank for this awesome outcome!  Is it the coaches?  The players?  Horton who took a nasty hit that sent him to the hospital causing the team to rally and kick some ass?
Nope.  It's my boyfriend, MFC.  Indirectly, me too.
Now, I bet you are wondering what we have to do with any of this. To tell you the truth, I had no idea until this morning.
We have successfully built a new age relationship around text messaging, just like 16 year olds do.  We are pretty proud of it. As I have gotten older I don't enjoy chatting on the phone as much as I once did, and I dislike even more talking to someone who truly hates talking on the phone (enter MFC).  I am completely comfortable with the rhythm we have found of texting throughout the day the important highlights or sweet nothings at our own pace.  Some may find this a little odd or disjointed, so I will say, when it really counts we make a phone call, but in the day to day, it is surprisingly efficient and satisfying.  So, why is this important?  Why did you just have to sit through that run on sentence about my borderline disfunctional cutting edge communication skills?
Because this is where the secret of sports success lies.   Last night I sent a text to MFC after the 4th goal of the night that simply said 'OMG!!!!!'.  I didn't even think about the fact that I didn't hear back from him.  I assumed he may have been too engrossed in the game, didn't have anything to say, or had fallen asleep.  The latter is what I did not too long after that text. My roommate woke me up as I had fallen asleep in the chair and sent me to bed.
This morning I woke up to following texts sent at almost 11:30 last night:

MFC:  'Omg..the last time I responded to u during the game they lost hard..sorry I couldn't again!...superstition!  I still love you tho!

MFC:  'They won!!!  I couldn't respond cuz of superstition...don't take offense!

Now this is HUGE news people.  HUGE.   This means that MFC actually now knows he can CONTROL the outcome of the game.  Forget growing your beard and not changing your underwear for weeks.  You can all get in the shower and switch chairs in the living-room.   You can change what you eat for dinner tonight, and you don't have to scratch your left nut after ever period during the game.
We have it all under control.  If they lose you will know that MFC has inadvertently texted me during the game- which lord knows will never happen again.
Also note, we are not certain that these powers are unique to us and our phones.  Therefore I have created a set of rules to be followed for safety's sake during the next critical games:

1.  DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT text me back if I text you during a Bruins game.
2.  In fact don't even initiate a text with me during a game.  Even if you DVR'd it.  You never know,  you may have the power to change the past...
3.  If you have never texted me before, don't start now.  Wait until hockey season is over.
4.  I will make sure to text something to MFC during every game moving forward so he has a text to not answer-just incase this has something to do with our powers.
5.  OK.  Let's really be safe.  If my number is IN your phone..take it out temporarily.  I don't want you to be tempted, and thus blamed if we lose.

Following these rules is doing your part to ensure a win for Boston and inevitably a Stanley cup victory. I bet you didn't know it was this easy!  The hard part is gonna be shaving that beard pal, nasty.

**Update**  MFC just texted me:  'It is a gift I must share with the world!'
Don't worry babe.  I just did.

Monday, May 23, 2011

So, the world did not what?

Saturday was suppose to be the day we were all off the hook I hear.  Shockingly, the world did not end at 6pm.  Just before that time on Saturday night I was in dress rehearsal for the dance recital for the studio I teach at.  The girls were all talking about the impending disaster, so I told them when they ran that last number to dance like it was the last time they were ever going to dance again.
Man were they pissed when they had to run it another time...

My quality television viewing of Kathy Lee and Hoda this morning confirmed my view that even though I didn't think the world was ending on Saturday, it is something that makes you stop and take stock of your life a little bit and think what you do with your time.  It also a time to say ohh...S&*%...the world didn't what.

1.  I need to get back to the gym. TODAY.  I have become ridiculously sedentary since starting school...turns out cellulite is NOT in season this know, these trends are always changing...I was apparently expecting jiggly thighs to be really IN this year...

2.  I need to clean my room.  Badly.  It just has not been a priority...MFC told me my room looked like I was a hoarder.  I think that may be a bad sign.

3.  Speaking of hoarders....I KINDA want to be one of those women on 'Extreme Couponing'...It is like super organized hoarding.  However, I don't want to have a basement stockpile of diet coke and hamburger helper....I want to just figure out how to buy fruits and veggies and good food for $2.  Seriously...these people are insane!!  Just watch it once.  You will thank me.

4.  I am still dying to get into the delivery room of one of my friends giving birth.  The closest I came was sitting all day with a good friend of mine hoping that the shear exhaustion of labor would wear her down, she is my most modest friend...she just told me the other day that if she didn't have to have an emergency C-section she was going to let me stay...A week from Friday she is having her second child via scheduled c-section...I'm wondering if that is enough time to learn how to perform the surgery?

5.  OK.  I just did some research. I guess I cannot deliver her child...If you are looking for me I am taking a much needed break.  I will be found singing at the top of my lungs in my house (mostly when my roommate is at work), sweating my jiggly bits off on the treadmill, enjoying my stupidly high maintenance coffee while reading magazines that tell me the same thing with different words and pictures every month...

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Side notes..

As expected since going back to school writing on my blog has taken a back seat in terms of priorities these days.  I just realized I haven't posted since April 8th!  I think about it..I've had some great ideas!  However, until I can put that chip in my brain that automatically downloads thoughts to my laptop...well then I guess that doesn't do any of us any good now does it?  Or, maybe it does all of us a LOT of good.  As my boyfriend said to me after one of my remarks this weekend 'You know don't have to share EVERY thought that goes through your mind with me'... naturally I responded with ' you KNOW me?'.  I got in the short line when they were passing out verbal boundaries.

Which leads me to this month.  I'm thinking I'll just do a little recap of life,  in case you are interested..If you aren't interested..well, then it begs the question why are you reading?

So I give you my life in a nutshell:

When I started back in grad school a girl I know from high school remarked on Facebook that around Wednesday of every week I would start to question the cleanliness of socks...She was right.  I didn't think that would happen at all.   I figured, if I am home studying most of the time, how could I not do laundry.  Turns out..very easily.

My roommate is a saint.  No.  Really.  Every week I would start out clean.  As the week progressed, my school work trail would take over my desk in the dining room, the dining room table, the coffee table in the living-room, the couch, the living-room floor.  I often left myself no time to wash my lunch or dinner dishes before dashing to class.  Much to my protest, she usually did them.  I would have hated me. She still smiles when she sees me.  Yeah, best roommate ever.

I have been a staple at my boyfriend's house.  His brother whom he lives with is also a saint.  He has put up with my multiple bags, my food in their cupboards and fridge, and my mug in various stages of distress probably more than he has cared to.  I thanked him by peer pressuring him to run a 5k.

My friends are saints.  Most of them I haven't talked to in weeks..This is not good.  After an MTEL yesterday I showed up at a 30th surprise party 3/12 hours late...I made it an hour and a half before I had to bow out to pass out on the couch.  It isn't pretty.

I now consider Special K protein bars a balanced lunch, breakfast, dinner...whatever.  

I went semi-comatose at a 2 year old's birthday party.

One week I wore the same outfit to school everyday.  It wasn't until the third day of class that I noticed there was a HOLE in the arm pit of my sweater.  Yeah, I noticed THAT one after raising my hand to answer a question...The first day I wore it I had given a presentation.  Awesome.

So, I was also advised to go back to caffeine. I refuse to do it.  I stopped for a decaf fancy latte at Starbucks last Tuesday.  For some reason I had a really upset stomach on the way home, I was pretty sure I wasn't going to make it home...if you know what I'm saying...
The next day the same girl helped me.  She looked at me with a somber look...'Did you get in trouble yesterday?'
Me:  ' what way?'
Her: 'Well...I looked in the machine yesterday and realized someone put regular beans in the decaf side...I was pressing decaf all day giving it to people..I remember you because you double checked and I assured you it was decaf..I am SO sorry'
Me:  'Wow!  No, I didn't even notice, I have been so exhausted you probably did me a favor!'
Her: 'Well, you don't need to pay for your coffee today'
Then I remembered my unfortunate stomach..ohhh lady...I PAID for that me on that one!

So, now aside from working at my part time job and dance recital madness I am school/ test free until June 1st.  Today after I taught I drove home.  Since then I have moved from the living-room chair to the couch.  I watched a movie suited for a 17 year old girl.  I have yet to shower.  It feels soo good.