What keeps me up at night

Every night this week I have woken up at 2am unable to sleep.  The first night I answered email, the second night  MFC rolled over and asked me 'what are you doing?', 'Oh, just playing Scrabble on my phone in the dark', last night I thought I would make it productive.  What is keeping you up?  Why I can't really figure out what the problem is, I can tell you some possibilities:  

1.  My neighbors upstairs.  At any given point in the day they are up.  I swear they don't need sleep.  There is about 80 of them and if they do sleep it must be in shifts.  Between their youngest kids getting ready for high school at 6am, their 1 year old grandchild crying at 2pm, the dad loud talking at 11pm, or the 19 year old sneaking out at 3am, (I may live downstairs from 'The Duggars'), there is always something to hear.  However, they take out the garbage most weeks before we can get to it...so I can't complain..

2.  The elderly.  Literally.  Who could be worse than a 19 year old?  The 79 year olds.  The ones in my neighborhood are up late night talking in the street without their hearing aids..There is a lot of vocal projection going on.

3.  Toddlers And Tiaras.  A lot of time is spent talking about how our parents screwed us up.  I'm not going to talk about that, that is what therapy is for.  (Just kidding mom and dad!).  I'm going to talk about what my parents did RIGHT.  When I was born my mom always tells me how she was sure she was having a boy and she was so freaked out that I was a girl because she 'didn't know what to do with a girl'.  My mom grew up more of a tomboy and was gorgeous without a drop of makeup in her sassy bell bottoms.  Naturally, she got a girly girl.  I was obsessed with my aunts 'high heelies', gave myself black eyes if left alone with a container of blue eyeshadow, and insisted that black lace fingerless gloves and black lace easter dress like Madonna were totally appropriate for church on Easter.  Oh, the horror that my mom wouldn't buy me anything black lace at 4 years old!  

As you can see if my mom was like ANY of the mothers on Toddlers And Tiaras I could have gone down a dark path.  It would have been spray tans, big hair, Red Bull, and extensions by 5.  

Seriously, if you haven't watched it you only need to watch one--I've only watched it once.  I knew it would be awful but, I just didn't know the extent.  There was one woman giving her daughter beef jerkey every time she did something on stage like a show dog!  Also, what 5 year old needs Red bull??  I am 31 and can't handle it, which isn't saying much because I don't even drink caffeinated coffee, but who really needs to see a temper tantrum on Red Bull??? Not this girl.  Also, there is something deeply disturbing about seeing  the face of a 28 year old on a 4 year olds body with a pacifier in her mouth..just sayin'.  

And that is what keeps me up at night this week.