Bees are NOT bracelets.

You would think that my adventures with Pitch Pipe Paul (click if you missed it) would have been enough for one day.  You would think.
But, let's be real.  That's not how I roll people.
When I finally gave up at Starbucks and decided to run some errands my first stop was the bank.  I walked in and noticed I was the only patron there and there were about 10 people working.  They all said hello and welcomed me to the bank..it kinda felt like a surprise party.
I also noticed something was tickling my wrist.  So, I shook it.  Then I noticed something pinching my wrist.  I was in mid sentence so I just reached down to fix my bracelet which was obviously getting caught in the little hairs on my arm, pinching my skin.
Except, I was not wearing a bracelet.  When I reached down the grab the bracelet the yellow jacket that had been stinging my wrist fired another warning shot into my finger.  I was being repeatedly stung by one pissed off bee.
This is where things go a little fuzzy for me.  This is where things looked a little um..crazy to the people in the bank.
Actually, I think started talking..OK yelling to myself.  And, of course because most of lifes problems can be solved with an artful drop of the f-bomb,  see here, I of course did a lot of that.  It went a little like this:
What the F&*!
OH MY GOD A BEE IS STINGING ME!  What the F*&!
You F*&-er!!!!  Get the F*&! off of me!!!
AHHH, SERIOUSLY I am flicking you the F&*! off me!!  (I don't know why I gave the bee a warning either...I kinda felt bad)
I flicked the bee off me and looked up and remembered I wasn't alone.
'Um..yeah.  I just got the crap stung out of me by that bee.  Sorry, didn't mean to flick it at you guys...'
Someone came and squashed him because he was good as dead on the ground.  I don't kill bugs.  Unless they F*&! with me.  That is a true story.  He would have been fine if he just buzzed off.  However, 4 stings--yeah.  4.  That's my personal bee sting limit.
Now the bank people are concerned, they want to get me peroxide.  Seriously?  Do we think he is a big unsanitary bee?
No thank you.
Can we get you anything?
No, I think I'm OK.
Well, after you're done with your banking, just, umm..hang around for a minute.
I'm sure they were afraid I was allergic or something and didn't want me to sue them if I died on my drive home.  However, I don't really think I have grounds to take legal action over the bee who stung me mostly because he is pissed it's cold and he was about to die.
I wasn't sure how long they expected me to hang around, but when the manager came out with an alcohol swap for me and I mentioned that might cause more pain than relief I decided they were not the nursing type and it was time to go do my grocery shopping.
In the car I examined my swollen finger and wrist.  3 welts on my wrist, one swollen finger.
Bee 4, Ali 1.
If my life keeps throwing these curve balls at me, I seriously need a more appropriate go to word.  Sometimes it just feels so good..especially in the midst of a bee attack!