Recipes for disaster.

So, since I started living in my new apartment this year and my roommate moved in I decided I was going to become more adventurous in the kitchen.  I've always been able to get by, but no one would describe me as any kind of cook.  Not that they would say I was bad, but I wasn't often found in the kitchen, unless it was to bake.
I could always pull together an appetizer or dessert for a party with no problem but, outside of that, nothing to write home about.
How did my lack of cooking happen?  Well, my mom was a great cook.  She was not traditional at all.  She had a fantastic vegetable garden, and an herb garden--her green thumb is second to none.  We always had something different to eat on the table leading most of my friends to call our dinners 'Weird Creeden Food'.
However, when I got older I wanted no part of learning what my mom was doing in the kitchen.  I would roll my eyes and walk away.  (Your welcome mom...I know that was fun for everyone).
From the age of 22 to 30 I had long term relationships with two chefs. (Not at the same time).  Everyone finds this commical.  However, the first chef did NOT like to cook at home after doing it all  day so I usually made dinner.  Most nights he was not home so it was a lot like college and I was heating up soup or something.  During that time period I learned how to make meatballs, chili, and sauce.  Basic cooking for  the most part.
I was then single and relied on my friend Jen who is an amazing cook to give me recipes for when I would make dinner for some random guy I was dating.  She ended up giving me this great recipe that can make the most novice of home cooks look like a rock star and luckily for me those guys never lasted much longer than my first home cooked meal for them, so they were left in the dust thinking what a great cook I was all because of one good dinner.
When I dated the second chef, I rarely had to cook.  He was often home for dinner due to his schedule and him cooking dinner was just faster.  If I was left to chop and saute and all of that it would just be a kitchen cluster F&*! with me calling him in every 3 seconds to check if I can properly murdered whatever piece of meat I was 'cooking'...and I was slow.  So, we traded duties, he cooked and grocery shopped, I cleaned and did laundry.   I found this totally fair.
Fast forward to this year, and my resolution to cook.
When I decided it was time to cook dinner for MFC (my favorite carpenter...keep up)  I was met with a surprise.  I had been whipping up some (what I thought) yummy dishes for Siobhan and I, but I can not been cooking for my other friends.  Now MFC and I were set up through his brother and mutual friends. When I told the mutual friend I was making dinner I saw an immediate look of panic.
What I did not know was that MFC was quite amazing in the kitchen.  My friend was scared for me....
'What are you going to make him Al?? Turkey Burgers??'
Me:  'No, actually I am making Swordfish with a basil/garlic Aioli and a couscous salad.
Friend: 'Al..I'm just saying..he's a really good cook.  Like REALLY good.  His whole family is.'
Great.  That is just great.  So, I was completely stressed out and wanted to vomit all day.  This was in September.  That dinner went really well.  Phew.
However, I have some bizarre self abuse thing where I decide every time I cook for him to make something I have never made before so no one knows how it is going to come out.  On one hand it is great that I am trying new things..on the other hand I feel like every meal..the jig could be up. I am going to be found out that I have actually just been getting really lucky in the kitchen, and am not experienced at all.  That I actually think REALLY hard when I know he is coming over for dinner and try to make it really special and good.  That the moment before he takes a bite is so stressful I'm pretty sure I break into a sweat.  So far, I have been lucky and am happy to report I appear to be an OK cook!
I told my friend Johanna the other night on the phone that I was making a flatbread pizza with apple butter, caramelized onions and caramelized pears, fontina, gorgonzola and walnuts and she said:  'um..who are you??'.
It's the new me.  I keep trying to tell MFC that I am not as good of a cook as he thinks I am, that I have gotten lucky and cooking for real is new to me.  He thinks I'm being modest.
He just doesn't know about the time I cooked a turkey in college with the plastic ties and plastic bag of gizzards left in...or about the time I lit a frozen pizza on fire in the oven because I left the cardboard round underneath it, or that for months I thought cheerios and a banana was a balanced dinner...and the list goes on.  There are some things everyone keeps to themselves.  Well, until you blog about it.