Pit-stops on the journey to normal.

The trip down memory lane when you are single.  We've all done it, you know it well.  It's the moment you have at some point after a break up where you find yourself reaching out to people from your past.  You know.  Just to say 'hey'. To your last big break-up, your last booty call, that guy or girl who gave you her e-mail at the bar 5 years ago that you can't remember what they looked like..or what their real name is but you are pretty sure they have blue eyes and their name begins with a 'C' because their e-mail is BigCblueeye964. I know what you are doing and why.
In the days, weeks, months after breaking up your brain is wired to find a place of normalcy in all your scattered-ness.  I don't know if that is scientific, but I'm pretty sure it is a real phenomenon.
I discovered this need a couple weeks after my break-up.  It's the part where you really question if you did the right thing.  I remember being with friends and needing to go outside to kind of break down for a second.  I didn't need sympathy or pity.  I just needed to cry.  I stood up and tried to slip out the back door and my friend's husband cornered me.  He grabbed me and gave me a really great hug.  The kind that makes you want to run because you know you are going to lose it.  I will never forget that moment and what he said.  'You made the right choice.  You know that right?  You are having a hard time because you want to go back to feeling normal.  But, that doesn't make it right, you are going to be OK'.

Sometimes on your way to normal, as I was saying you reach out to your past.  They, after all might feel normal or at the very least make you feel a piece of yourself again.  You know what you are doing.  You are throwing the single back out there.  You're trying to get your groove back.  Your mojo.
'Oh..yeah, I'm good..you know, work, laundry, gym, hanging out with my friends, canceling my wedding' (it doesn't need to be that extreme but, you see where I am going).
And you just wait for what comes back.  No good really ever comes of this. Especially when you are on the receiving end.
I just got this e-mail and call myself.  A guy I used to date.  We'll call him Toyota.  We'll call him that because, that's what he sells.
Toyota and I had recently connected again on Facebook, and I was happy to see he was in a relationship and seemed happy.  Then I got the e-mail.
'When are you going to come see me?'
..What??...
'Um, how's your girlfriend'
'We broke up'.
Yup.  That's what I thought.
Then, it was the phone call.  'So, when are you coming down to Myrtle Beach to see me?'  (Where he moved to recently)
'Umm..I'm not?'
'Why not?'
'Toyota, I know what your doing!   You are taking the trip down memory lane.  It seems like a great idea for me to come down there and get your mind off of things, but let me tell you it is a recipe for disaster.  I've done this before.  After my last big break-up, I hoped on a bus to NYC to see a guy I went to college with.  Instead of staying with friends I thought it was an awesome idea to spend a week at this guys house.  The only problem was..when I got there, I realized I wasn't attracted to him AT ALL.  Now, I had to sleep in his bed and think of creative ways to get out of kissing him all weekend.  Thanks but NO THANKS.  I can make bad decisions right in the comfort of my own zip code without the $300 plane ticket, thank you very much!'  I did, in fact, say this to him.
Now I am currently counseling him on how to get over his girl friend, or get her back.  True story.  I'm great at sorting out other peoples lives.  I'm going to start charging a co-pay.