I'm Thankful for real. I swear.

Well, I didn't make a post every weekday in November about how Thankful I am.  However, I did post a few--and kept it mostly sassy as promised.  However, this will be my last thankful post of the month as Thanksgiving is tomorrow.  Since it's the last post and I am feeling moved by the season, here is what I am really thankful for this year.  For real.

If you look at my year so far, a lot of people who don't know me may say...wow.  That was a bummer hey?  You had such high hopes for the year and nothing turned out the way you planned it.  Didn't you have a new job and a wedding in the works?  What happened to the plan and all that stuff?
I find myself today without full time work and with a lovely wedding dress that will go un-used in my closet.  (Any takers?)
However, I am thankful for everything happening for a reason.   I am thankful for that past relationship.  It was wonderful, but not the right fit.  I'm thankful we tried each other on, I'm thankful for the love that was there.  I'm thankful for the friendship--albeit from afar and quite different (obviously).  I'm thankful for the experience.  I'm thankful we figured it out before we were in even deeper, and that we both made it to the other side not much worse for the wear.  I am proud of myself and thankful for the little voice that wouldn't keep quiet.  I'm thankful for using my listening ears.
I'm thankful for the many life-preservers I found to help me make big leaps in my life.
I am rich with wonderful friends who continue to rise to the occasion for me at a moments notice.  It almost isn't fair how lucky I am to have such a community of men and women who have been with me through thick and thin.  Friends who know when to give it to me straight and when to humor me.  Friends who laugh with me and hold me when I cry.  Friends who don't point out exactly how ugly I am when I cry..and trust me, it is ugly.  Friends who know I am my own brand of crazy and love me anyway..and for the record they are crazy  too and I wouldn't have it any other way.
I am thankful for all of their children who are gorgeous extensions of those friends and provide so many laughs and adorable distractions from day to day life.  Thank you to all of you.  I am thankful for each and every one of you.  I can only hope I am a fraction of the friend you all are to me.

I am thankful that my grandfather made it to almost 92.  For him, I am thankful in the condition he was in, it wasn't a day longer.  That sounds strange but, he was ready to go.  I am thankful he is resting peacefully.  I am thankful to look back on all the wonderful memories I have of him and am thankful he is looking out for me everyday.  I miss his face.  I miss his laugh, I miss the crazy things he would do and say.  I miss his stories and his advice.  I am forever thankful to everything he added to my life.  I am thankful that a year ago he shared his final Thanksgiving at my home.

I am thankful for my family.  Although my parents may not be together, I have two of the most amazing parents a woman could want.  We aren't perfect, our relationships would not be the material a Brady Bunch episode is made of, however I have two parent who love the shit out of me.  Can I say shit?  Yeah.  It's my blog.  I can say shit.
I know they are both there for me all of the time, anytime.  I love you both more than words can say, and I am thankful.
I am thankful for all of my family--I am thankful that I am in a position to chose where to spend Thanksgiving.  I want to be everywhere!  I'm not thankful that I can't, but I am thankful that I was wanted.

In a difficult year, while not thankful for the misfortune of others, I am thankful that fate brought my roommate Siobhan and I together.  She has been a tremendous amount of support, laughter and eating.  I am thankful she listens to me over-share and babble, I am thankful for her advise, I am thankful for her decorating prowess.  My home would be a much less cute place to live for sure had she not been in my life, but that is just a small piece of the pie.

I'm thankful that my recent job loss has put me on a completely new path.  I am thankful for the woman who let's my come teach dance to her students who fill my soul every time!  I am thankful for my new plan--good things are coming!

I'm thankful for a blind date that exceeded my expectations, and continues to make me smile everyday.  

I'm thankful for a past full of enough good things to keep me happy and enough bad to keep me moving forward with more wisdom.  I'm thankful to all who share this journey with me.
Happy Thanksgiving to all of you.  I hope you count your blessings and fill your bellies.

**As a side note nothing says 'Ali I am thankful for your blog' like being a follower...Just sayin'!
***Sorry..I couldn't resist!

Is there a happy medium? Or should I say..happy grande?

Of course I never note my unremarkable experiences when I go get my coffee.  I don't need to, mostly because often things are quite remarkable for me during some of the most mundane things.

Take yesterday.  The Starbucks I frequent has an AWFUL parking situation.  It is off an extremely busy street and there are about 10 parking spaces.  It is not unusual to have to wait to park, or to pull in and realize you need to go back out to the street and find parking.  It is also not unusual to find people making 18 point turns in the parking lot, or to see people just kinda making up parking spaces.
So, after my MTEL exam and a nice run I was ready for my coffee.  I was in a good mood.  Stress free.  I pull in and I see a man in a jeep backing up.  I assume he is going to park in one of the 3 open spaces.  He backs up past me and I am hesitant to take a space.  He was there first, and he should have the spot he wants.  I wait a minute and he continues to back up.  Before I pull in, I make eye contact with him and make a hand gesture that I thought implied 'do you want that space?'.  I had a pleasant look on my face and mouthed the words.
He said 'F*%! You'!  With the appropriate hand gesture.  Then he refused to make eye contact with me.
He must have thought I said something else.  Happy Holidays.  Sigh.  I parked, and really wanted to get out of my car and yell loudly 'YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME TO EF OFF WHEN I AM TRYING TO BE NICE!!  Not only is that NOT the Holiday spirit SIR...it just makes you an A&! H...ahem, I mean an UNKIND MAN!!'.
I am thankful I didn't do that.  I then wished people were a little nicer.
Careful what you wish for.
I went to get my coffee today.  I was texting a friend as I waited for my coffee.  The guy in front of me took his drink turned back around to me and said 'This is the best drink ever.  Would you like the first sip?'.  He then held the drink out expectantly.
Me: 'Umm..oh..no thank you'  (WHAT??)
Him:  'Are you sure?'
Me: 'Oh, I'm sure...thanks..'
He then got pissed and walked away muttering 'I was just kidding anyways'..you know the way you say your kidding when you are really just embarrassed and not kidding at all.

That's entertainment??

So, I had to drive about 40 minutes to the dentist today.  Actually the periodontist if we are getting technical.  I am pretty sure my dentist is in cahoots with the periodontist and they are just trying to get me for as much money as they can.   They are also in the business of aggressive cleanings there...you know..being all about gum health.  I was sent there to look at a patch on my mouth, and the periodontist decided I had other issues...This is all super awesome, and super interesting I am sure.
I threw on a hat this morning and ran out the door.  I got in the exam chair and the lady set to rip my mouth apart..I mean clean my teeth, asked me to remove my hat.  I wasn't counting on this--mostly because I am a girl and I don't often wear hats to the dentist...except on a bed head day.  It wasn't pretty.
Then of course as they always do they have to tell you all about their life and ask you important questions as soon as they have like 8 tools in your mouth and you are drooling like a teething baby.

This is not what this blog post is about.  I should be thankful I have gums.

What THIS post is about is the morning radio show which shall remain nameless that i listened to on my ride there.  Apparently, like a lot of morning shows, they do a sort of prank call.  Usually, these are kind of funny.  In the end the person who is no doubt engulfed with rage is told 'ha ha, just kidding!  It's your favorite radio personality!  Isn't it funny that you love me and listen to me everyday on the radio and you didn't recognize my voice on the phone?? Also, isn't it funny that I told you my name was Thisis Notreal--and you still thought it was real??' HA HA HA.  Funny!
However, THIS morning show has someone who suspects their spouse of cheating call in and tell the story.  The personality then pretends to be someone from a credit card company or somewhere and tells the spouse in question they have won a complimentary bouquet of red roses to send anywhere they want as a 'Thank you'.  The person receiving the call more often then not decided not to send it to their spouse..but to their LOVER.  THEN the person who called in with the suspicion usually confronts their spouse on the air!!!
Is this just one more sign that I am aging that I don't really think this is entertainment...that a week before Thanksgiving I think this is sad?
Not only am I thankful for my gums today...I am thankful I am not in that relationship, and that I don't find that entertaining.  Now someone call me up and tell me that I'm driving a stolen vehicle or something...THAT is funny.  No...it isn't. Also, I'm not by the way.  You know what I mean.

Things that sound bad..that aren't.

Call it a lack of maturity, or too much awareness about things around me--but, I love when people hear things and their mind goes in the gutter.  You catch your friends eye wherever you are--because maybe you are at a wedding and it is totally not appropriate to laugh.  I am always the one to laugh and almost have to leave a church.  All the time.  I am the worlds most inappropriate laugh-er.  I was actually kicked out of a class in college with one of my best friends because we could not pull it together.
I am thankful for laughter.
Friday night I am home getting some stuff done and end up on a phone marathon with my friend Scott.  He has just gotten into a really great story when I decide that I am going to make a smoothie.  I pull out my trusty 'Magic Bullet' some frozen fruit, almond milk, honey, and flax seeds and start going to town.  I can hear him find so I start to blend.

Scott stops talking.  'Um..what's happening. What is that??'
Me:  'Oh, I can still hear you keep going, it's my magic bullet'.
Silence.  Like, something is not right kinda silence.
Then I realized my friend Scott has taken a mental mind trip to the gutter which, with him being a gay man was not a fun place for him to go.  He hear magic bullet and he automatically thinks I am talking about a certain adult novelty that would be something some women perhaps may be familiar with.
You can see how this gets awkward for him.
I see where he is going and I start laughing because my Magic Bullet Blender is making all kinds of crazy noises and it is certainly a noise I would not hope to find with any other kind of bullet you may be thinking of.  That would just be scary!

'Scott!  The BLENDER!  Not a vibrator!!!!'
He is relieved.  Then we had to laugh about the scenario it was not and 'what if' that is really what I decided to do while on the phone with my gay friend.  'Oh, keep talking, I can still hear you--it's fine! Don't mind me!'

In yoga yesterday morning my mind was in the gutter.  I thought about all the inappropriate things you hear that no one laughs at.
For example:
Downward Dog
Take a wider stance in your dog
Take this time to get really deep in your dog
and my personal favorite yesterday-
When you are ready flip your dog

I'm sorry.  It's funny!

Also, I am thankful for the woman after class who came up to me and said 'I have to tell  you, you really distracted me all class!'
Me:  'what?? Why?? I'm sorry!'
Her:  'your hair is so cute!  I was suppose to be going into crow (insert laughter) and all I could think about and look at is your hair cut!'

Lady..that made my day.  I am thankful for friendly strangers--especially ones with compliments on a Sunday morning when I rolled out with bed-head.
If you have ever seen me in the morning you know I have really 'special hair' at that time.  Short hair is fantastic when you are getting ready--5 minutes flat and I am done.  In the morning everyone needs to be prepared for the horror...that is the moment I want my long hair back!

Neon and thong leotards..I didn't get the memo.

Just when you think you have seen it all...

I took my Zumba certification today!  It was a long (9 hour) day of booty shakin', sweating, and fellow white people making awkward dance choices.
Other awkward choices today included one woman in a red turtleneck THONG leotard over black spandex capris.  I'm not joking.
Another awkward choice was the same look only the leotard had a scoop neck and a floral AND animal pattern.  I'm still not kidding.
This was not a good idea in the 80's and it's not a good idea in 2010.  I want to go on record saying no one looks cute in a thong leotard.
Also surrounding me was a whole lotta neon colors.  I did not get either of these memos.

I am thankful for having a small ounce of fashion sense...or at least the common sense to know that 9 hours in a sweaty thong does not a happy crack make.

College doesn't make you smart.

As I tortured myself by watching the food network while cleansing (why would I do that??) I was reminded of a college incident.

My two roommates and I were dead broke--as you should be in college to get the full experience.  Our cupboards were bear and none of us had enough cash on us to go out and get something to eat.
We opened up the freezer and there stood one loan frozen dinner.  The three of us stood around the counter and SHARED ONE frozen dinner.  Now, I'm just sayin' if we called our parents and said, hey- we don't have enough money to EAT this week, someone would have sent us some money.  I think we just wanted to be dramatic.
Another tactic we used was watching the food network and pretending that baby carrots were what we were watching on TV.  Seriously??  Seriously.
I'm thankful to not be that dumb anymore.

In an unrelated note I get regular e-mails from Borders (the book store).  When they e-mail me a coupon they give me recommendations based on past purchases.
Today's recommendation was 'Your Pregnancy After 35'.  Umm.. Did I sleep through the last five years?  Also, did I sleep through getting pregnant?  What the heck fire did I buy that screamed she needs a late in life pregnancy book??
Yeah.  I said heck fire.  I heard someone use it and I'm trying it on.  Sometimes I think I'm Southern.

How Victoria's Secret helped me quit smoking...10 years late we look back.

Today I have been smoke free for 10 years!  Yikes.  I'm really not old enough to say that am I.  Oh.  I am though.
How did I start smoking.  I smoked a little in High School and started smoking more in college.  I think what turned me into a smoker was my friend Scott telling me I wasn't a 'real' smoker.  According to him I didn't smoke enough and my Marlborough Ultra Lights were not real cigarettes.
Well, I'll show him!!  Fake smoker my ass!  Really Al?? Really???  THAT is how you started smoking at least a pack a day??
I LOVED smoking.  I'm pretty sure if I still did it, I would still love it.  I didn't so much love the bronchitis once a year, but other than that...a cigarette after a meal, a cigarette with friends, a cigarette when you were bored, stressed, happy, drunk.  Really--you name it when ISN'T it a good time to have a cigarette?  Driving--forget it.  A cigarette and some good music.
I like to think I was someone who made smoking look good.  Maybe I wasn't but, at the time in my head I totally was!
However, in college I made some financial mistakes...there may have been some creditors harassing me.
Another breaking point that will not go down so well--the Victoria's Secret incident.
I had opened a charge there when I was a freshman in college because, well I was old enough and I could. I also needed some underwear.
When I was younger I also didn't think it was important to pay my bills on time.  Especially when I could use that money to buy beer, cigarettes and snacks!
So, the phone calls started-and obviously I didn't answer.  That is when the attorney decided to hunt me down.  I say hunt as in stalk my aunts and uncles with the same last name and say they were calling on behalf of my unpaid balance with Victoria's Secret.  Then they called my dad.
So, now it sounds to my family like I'm a crazy lingerie fiend who doesn't pay her bills...what exactly is she doing up there in school?
Yeah.  It wasn't my most proud moment.
Enter my poor dad who ended up bailing me out of numerous debts so I could pull it together.  I will never forget that conversation or how low I felt having to ask him for that money.  One of my most embarrassing moments.
I got out of his car and thought to myself, if I cannot afford to pay my dad this money right now, and pay my own bills-I sure as hell cannot afford to smoke.
I was out of cigarettes and went up to my friends dorm.  I asked Heather for a cigarette.  She rolled her eyes at me -  as she was broke too- and I said 'It is the last one I will ever bum from you'
She said 'Yeah right'.
I said 'This is my last cigarette.  I am quitting.'
Heather handed me a cigarette and laughed in my face.  Well, that is all the taunting I needed.
I have not had so much as a drag since.  Not one.
Partly because now I think it is gross and I would probably throw up, partly because if I have one it's all over.  I am the kind of person who would have one and would be a pack a day smoker again in about 2 seconds flat.
So, today I am thankful for Victoria's Secret and my good friend Heather.  They really pulled together ten years ago to help me kick the habit.

Cleanse-day one down. Six to go.

Yesterday marked day one of my aforementioned cleanse.  Being at my cousin's wedding the night before and not sleeping great after, I laid in bed seriously contemplating just starting on Monday.  It was a chilly day, I felt a cold coming on and my really big coffee was calling my name.
MFC asked if I was hungry.  Of course I was hungry--have you met me?  He suggested eggs...I said..I have to get my own stuff out of the car.  Sigh.
'Oh!  Right!  Your cleanse!'
'Right....maybe I should just start tomorrow...you know..when I'm home.  I'm tired.  Fresh start tomorrow'
He wasn't having that--which I have to say I like.  Call me out on my bull-Sh&*!  I like someone who challenges me.  Well played.
He asked what kind of coffee I wanted.  I had a strange urge to punch a wall.  'I can't have coffee'.
Out of everything yesterday that was the biggest challenge.  Not feeling awesome and being a creature of habit I SO BADLY wanted to just sneak to Starbucks and get my coffee...no one needed to know.
But, I would know damn it.  Then I thought if I put it off today then I can't have coffee until Monday.  If I started right then, coffee was in my future on Sunday...and I already started it with breakfast.  I couldn't quit.

I have to say aside from wanting to punch things every time I think about the coffee I am giving up, it is going really well.

OK--so kinda boring post.  I know--but,  a lot of people have been asking me about the cleanse.  The most popular response:  'so what CAN you eat...lettuce?'.
Well, yes smarty pants I can eat lettuce, but I must say this cleanse is very easy to follow. Once I personally get over the sugar issue.  Dairy is a little hard--I love cheese, my latte has milk, and I do love eggs.  But, it is seven days.
Yesterday I ate:
Quinoah with walnuts and chopped up apple with honey for breakfast
A salad with avocado, tomatoes, cucumber, arugula, chickpeas and a homemade apple cider vinegar/ Dijon vinaigrette.
I snacked on a 'Lara bar' (umm...YUM by the way)
Celery with almond butter, and hummus
Dinner was tofu with onions, ginger and soy sauce, Kale with garlic and lemon, and chopped up baked sweet potato with some olive oil salt and pepper.

I drank tea and water.  Clearly there was no starving, and I learned I kinda LOVE Kale! Who knew?
This morning breakfast was quinoa with almond milk, black berries, cinnamon, walnuts, and a little agave nectar.  I know--earthy earthy crunch crunch; but it was all so yummy and good.  I think I am going to feel GREAT at the end! IF anyone has anymore interest about this--please ask me, I'm happy to share recipes and such..if you dare.

Maybe I'm too friendly?

As per my usual in my new town I have made friends with most of the baristas at my local Starbucks.  As in, they all know about my layoff.  They all know about my hopes to start school in January.  They know I teach dance class on Saturdays.  I know about Darby's plan to go back to school, that she sells Lia Sophia and caters on the side as well.  I know Trish likes to run and is in school.  She also used to work with troubled children.  When I get my coffee every morning it is like going to Cheers for me.  It is bad that I also know the stories of a bunch of employees at my last 2 towns of residence--and they still recognize me. Is this a problem?  Maybe.
Case in point.  This morning I ran in and was about 7 people back in line when one of the newer baristas spots me.  I do not yet know her name--she told me and I forgot.  She yells 'Alison!   Darby has something for you!'
'For me??'
'Yeah!  Darby--Alison's here!'
Well, now I'm getting a lot of curious looks...
Darby comes out with a jar of her homeade Apple Butter that we had discussed a few weeks ago.  I happen to love Apple Butter and she was telling me about her crock pot recipe, I was fascinated- and was considering making my own.  She told me she'd bring some in for me.  I assumed that she was being polite and would not--which would have been fine!
But, she did.  I am thankful for Darby--and all my starbucks peeps who make my day happy...and make me feel a little awkward all at the same time.

So THAT's what happens when you leave stuff on the stove too long!

In keeping with my pledge of being thankful in November, today I am thankful for kitchen creations gone wrong creating a good laugh.
Last night my roommate and a friend were making dinner for all of us. Siobhan and I were getting ready to go to Zumba (side note).  Our friend Bryan said he wanted to make a balsamic vinaigrette for his tomato mozzarella salad.  I say- 'I'll make a balsamic reduction--we can drizzle it on!'.
I have done this before. Easy.  I have NOT done this in a while--a few months.
If you have ever boiled balsamic vinegar you know this is not a pleasant experience...or maybe it isn't in our house because we don't have a fan in the kitchen to suck up the fumes.  I may have had it on a little too high because before we knew it our eyes and noses were burning so badly we couldn't stop laughing, all the windows and doors are open because clearly I am trying to gas us out.
My phone rings.  It is my friend Johanna who is flying into the airport and I am picking her up later on.  I answer the call as she was trying to get a different flight.  She asks if I can pick her up at seven.  I am trying to remember what time I have class, not cough, talk over the screams of my distraught housemates/guests who are being forced out of their homes by my kitchen disaster.   I am crying.  Johanna thinks I feel inconvenienced, I don't--I just can't breathe or see.
We hang up..I don't know what happened on the phone.   The next thing I knew things did not look right in the pan.  They went from vinegar to some sort of caramel.  Balsamic vinegar caramel.  This could not be good.   I tasted it.  This was not good.
I quickly asked for a bowl and poured it in.  Within minutes it was completely hard.  As a rock.
Of course we tried it.  It was balsamic caramel.  Hard balsamic caramel.  Not really sure you can do anything with that.  Also, I'm pretty sure the heat could have taken the flesh off my finger.
And, also.  The house smelled like vinegar for no good reason at all.  Sweet.  Sweet hard vinegar candy. Delicious. Y'all know what your Christmas gifts are this year.

**I have a picture of this...the blog won't take it...sigh**

November Focus. Request for ideas.

November 1st.  Holy Sh&*!  I told my family I wasn't talking about Thanksgiving plans until after Halloween.  Target had out their Christmas Hershey Kisses last week.  In (I'm very willing to bet) 10-13 days 2 top radio stations in Boston will have flipped their format to all Christmas music, and some of my friends are finished with their Christmas shopping.  I will be damned if we rush the holidays on our own!

However, it is now the day after Halloween, so we can now begin talking about Thanksgiving.  One of my favorite holidays.  Turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, pie...toss on a cozy sweater and what's not to like?
Last year I remember the 'gratitude attitude' epidemic on Facebook.  So, I'm thinking this months posts through Thanksgiving are all going to be about things I am thankful for.  Now, before you throw up in your mouth and sign off Definitely Decaf forever- don't worry.  I am going to put my own spin on things.  We all know you don't read this to hear about how happy things are, you read it because again, you are hoping my pants fell off in the grocery store or that I accidentally tripped the president or something ridiculous.  I know this.  But, let's be real.  If I can keep this up 5 days a week until Thanksgiving... that is 19 days.  That is a whole lotta thankful to not put my own perverse spin on things.

This week.  I am thankful for what I CAN eat.  Next week we'll see how thankful I can be.  This is where my request for ideas comes in.  So, as you may or may not know I am doing thing whole mind/body/whole foods eating/ filling emotionally program with the fabulous Elizabeth Johnson .
We are in our 3rd week and this Sunday begins my 'Cleanse'.  I have never believed in cleanses.  Ever.  I  think our body does a fine job of eliminating and cleansing on it's own.  However, the cleanse she is advising I totally buy into.  However, if I make it past 1 day I will be jumping for joy.  I have to keep telling myself, it's only 7 days.  Only 7.  I feel like I am about to quit smoking.
Next week I will be:
Caffeine free (check)
Alcohol free (that's fine)
Sugar free (I want to punch myself in the face)
Gluten free (umm...how am I going to figure this all out??)
Animal product free..like..no dairy, meats, etc. (Oh.  God.  Help. Me.)

My morning latte if you count the trace amounts of caffeine (which I will here for dramatic purposes) includes ALL of those categories..except the alcohol..you  know...unless it's been a REALLY bad morning.  Kidding.  But, seriously.  If everyone makes it out alive it will be a miracle.

So, if you are one of my gluten free, or animal free friends who have yummy recipes that fall into this category--it is time to tell me what you love to eat.  Like now.  Please.
Again.  Gratitude attitude #1-I am thankful for what I CAN eat this week!