What keeps me up at night

Every night this week I have woken up at 2am unable to sleep.  The first night I answered email, the second night  MFC rolled over and asked me 'what are you doing?', 'Oh, just playing Scrabble on my phone in the dark', last night I thought I would make it productive.  What is keeping you up?  Why I can't really figure out what the problem is, I can tell you some possibilities:  

1.  My neighbors upstairs.  At any given point in the day they are up.  I swear they don't need sleep.  There is about 80 of them and if they do sleep it must be in shifts.  Between their youngest kids getting ready for high school at 6am, their 1 year old grandchild crying at 2pm, the dad loud talking at 11pm, or the 19 year old sneaking out at 3am, (I may live downstairs from 'The Duggars'), there is always something to hear.  However, they take out the garbage most weeks before we can get to it...so I can't complain..

2.  The elderly.  Literally.  Who could be worse than a 19 year old?  The 79 year olds.  The ones in my neighborhood are up late night talking in the street without their hearing aids..There is a lot of vocal projection going on.

3.  Toddlers And Tiaras.  A lot of time is spent talking about how our parents screwed us up.  I'm not going to talk about that, that is what therapy is for.  (Just kidding mom and dad!).  I'm going to talk about what my parents did RIGHT.  When I was born my mom always tells me how she was sure she was having a boy and she was so freaked out that I was a girl because she 'didn't know what to do with a girl'.  My mom grew up more of a tomboy and was gorgeous without a drop of makeup in her sassy bell bottoms.  Naturally, she got a girly girl.  I was obsessed with my aunts 'high heelies', gave myself black eyes if left alone with a container of blue eyeshadow, and insisted that black lace fingerless gloves and black lace easter dress like Madonna were totally appropriate for church on Easter.  Oh, the horror that my mom wouldn't buy me anything black lace at 4 years old!  

As you can see if my mom was like ANY of the mothers on Toddlers And Tiaras I could have gone down a dark path.  It would have been spray tans, big hair, Red Bull, and extensions by 5.  

Seriously, if you haven't watched it you only need to watch one--I've only watched it once.  I knew it would be awful but, I just didn't know the extent.  There was one woman giving her daughter beef jerkey every time she did something on stage like a show dog!  Also, what 5 year old needs Red bull??  I am 31 and can't handle it, which isn't saying much because I don't even drink caffeinated coffee, but who really needs to see a temper tantrum on Red Bull??? Not this girl.  Also, there is something deeply disturbing about seeing  the face of a 28 year old on a 4 year olds body with a pacifier in her mouth..just sayin'.  

And that is what keeps me up at night this week.

BRUINS WIN! Thank my boyfriend..

THE BRUINS MAKE AN AMAZING COMEBACK LAST NIGHT BEATING THE CANUCKS 8-1!
I bet you're wondering who you can thank for this awesome outcome!  Is it the coaches?  The players?  Horton who took a nasty hit that sent him to the hospital causing the team to rally and kick some ass?
Nope.  It's my boyfriend, MFC.  Indirectly, me too.
Now, I bet you are wondering what we have to do with any of this. To tell you the truth, I had no idea until this morning.
We have successfully built a new age relationship around text messaging, just like 16 year olds do.  We are pretty proud of it. As I have gotten older I don't enjoy chatting on the phone as much as I once did, and I dislike even more talking to someone who truly hates talking on the phone (enter MFC).  I am completely comfortable with the rhythm we have found of texting throughout the day the important highlights or sweet nothings at our own pace.  Some may find this a little odd or disjointed, so I will say, when it really counts we make a phone call, but in the day to day, it is surprisingly efficient and satisfying.  So, why is this important?  Why did you just have to sit through that run on sentence about my borderline disfunctional cutting edge communication skills?
Because this is where the secret of sports success lies.   Last night I sent a text to MFC after the 4th goal of the night that simply said 'OMG!!!!!'.  I didn't even think about the fact that I didn't hear back from him.  I assumed he may have been too engrossed in the game, didn't have anything to say, or had fallen asleep.  The latter is what I did not too long after that text. My roommate woke me up as I had fallen asleep in the chair and sent me to bed.
This morning I woke up to following texts sent at almost 11:30 last night:

MFC:  'Omg..the last time I responded to u during the game they lost hard..sorry I couldn't again!...superstition!  I still love you tho!

MFC:  'They won!!!  I couldn't respond cuz of superstition...don't take offense!

Now this is HUGE news people.  HUGE.   This means that MFC actually now knows he can CONTROL the outcome of the game.  Forget growing your beard and not changing your underwear for weeks.  You can all get in the shower and switch chairs in the living-room.   You can change what you eat for dinner tonight, and you don't have to scratch your left nut after ever period during the game.
We have it all under control.  If they lose you will know that MFC has inadvertently texted me during the game- which lord knows will never happen again.
Also note, we are not certain that these powers are unique to us and our phones.  Therefore I have created a set of rules to be followed for safety's sake during the next critical games:

1.  DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT text me back if I text you during a Bruins game.
2.  In fact don't even initiate a text with me during a game.  Even if you DVR'd it.  You never know,  you may have the power to change the past...
3.  If you have never texted me before, don't start now.  Wait until hockey season is over.
4.  I will make sure to text something to MFC during every game moving forward so he has a text to not answer-just incase this has something to do with our powers.
5.  OK.  Let's really be safe.  If my number is IN your phone..take it out temporarily.  I don't want you to be tempted, and thus blamed if we lose.

Following these rules is doing your part to ensure a win for Boston and inevitably a Stanley cup victory. I bet you didn't know it was this easy!  The hard part is gonna be shaving that beard pal, nasty.

**Update**  MFC just texted me:  'It is a gift I must share with the world!'
Don't worry babe.  I just did.