Last public post: Being sick at 30.

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At 3am on Wednesday morning I woke up sitting up on the couch.  All the living-room lights on, and the TV turned up.  This was the second time this week that one moment I was awake, the next moment I am waking up in the middle of the night on the couch.  As I peeled myself off the couch I noticed my throat was really sore.  I assumed it was dry air, snoring...you know.  So, I got some water and went to bed.
I was planning on sleeping in, and at 7am when I could no longer sleep because my sore throat was so bad I got out of bed to get some juice.  That will surely make it better.  Then, I had a popsicle.  That should do it.  OK...maybe coffee?  This is weird.  I had some coffee and my throat was only getting worse.  By 9AM I realized I couldn't move my neck.  Turning side to side and up and down what a struggle.  By ten AM my body ached so badly my clothes hurt to touch my skin.  I swear I could feel my leg hair growing.  Except my hair follicles had been replaced with needles.  I was shaking.  Upon taking my temperature and seeing it at  100.7, it was confirmed.  Something was taking me down.  I never run a fever, and certainly not for a cold.  Yesterday I was convinced it was the flu and I silently cursed the $30 waste of money the flu shot was if I was gonna have the flu anyways.  Getting off the couch to go to the bathroom was a major accomplishment.
Upon the advise from my nurse friend, I called my doctor and left a message to see if I could come in for a flu swab, took some Tylenol before bed and hoped for the best.  This morning I woke to a 100 degree fever and the same symptoms except I was looking for a way to flip top my head and take my throat out.
It was around this time I realized I never brushed my teeth yesterday.  Gross.
I decided I could not wait for the doctor to call me back (from yesterday).  I decided to make my way to the local walk in clinic.
On my way out the door I grabbed a popsicle hoping for relief.  I realized on my way there I was in my pajamas which also happened to be my clothes from yesterday.  I had on a winter hat as my hair was matted to my head.  So hot.  As I alternated my car heater between hot and cold every 20 seconds or so depending on my shaking or clamminess I couldn't help but think how much better it was when my mom would drive me to the doctor.  Driving yourself when you are sick is for the birds!  What does that even mean?  For the birds?  It seems they are getting the shit end....anyways.
As the nurse took my temp and blood pressure I noticed I had somehow spit toothpaste on my thigh.  How the hell did I do that??  Sigh.
They advised me to put on a mask to go back to the waiting room.
Picture this:  Winter hat, winter coat, toothpaste yoga pants, ugg boots, face mask, pale face.
They led me into an exam room and waited for the doctor.  He came in to find me sleeping on the exam table.  When he listened to my heart and breathing he asked me to take off my zip up hoodie.  I then realized I had on no bra.  Just a tank top.  I was really bringing the class.  Then he reached into my armpits to feel my glands.  Yeah.  No deodorant yet today doc...just wet fever armpits.  Lucky you.
Who let me out of the house???
Diagnosis?  Strep throat and possible mono. Yeah. Mono.  I will find out about that later.  My boyfriend will be really excited if I have mono, cause let's face it--nothin' says luvin' like 'the kissing disease'.
I will be excited if I have mono because nothing says welcome to your first semester of grad school like mono...
If anyone is looking for me today I will be consuming mass quantities of ice cream and popsicles...and the very rare occurrence of me not wanting to talk is happening right now...and that only happens like Haley's Comet, once every seven years.