Chestnuts roasted...and salted

This is it.  I have one day left to myself tomorrow before I start the new job..and somehow I still have too much to do.  I decided I wanted to get all my Christmas shopping done before I started this job--and I thought that was rather ambitious when my start date was going to be LAST Monday.

That was before the guy who hired me was no longer with the company and the start-date got pushed back a week, but that is another story.  Now, it seems less ambitious and more necessary that I get my shopping done.  I'm pretty much there, except for my fiance.  Who. Is. The. Most. Difficult. Person. To. Shop. For.
I have a beautiful ring on my finger, and he is getting underwear, pajama pants, clippers, and a CD case so far.  Because that is ALL he wants.  Well, that's not true- he also wants socks, a new redsox hat, and some gift cards but his mom and sister need ideas too and I can't be a hog.  Seriously-what is that list??  I appreciate that he is not materialistic but, I am going to feel all sad and guilty Christmas morning as my engagement ring glistens in his face and he opens his fancy Target underwear.  Sigh.

Anyways, I go to this mall I NEVER go to and it's raining out when I go in.  I am actually also buying work clothes.  It's like everyone who works at this mall just.. gave up.  The mall was trashed, clothes falling off the tables, sizes all mixed up, it was at least 110 degrees in the shade and I'm pretty sure the walls started closing in on my after a couple of hours so I headed out.
Now it is snowing, I am on a highway I hate in my ity bity tuna can car going like 40 on the highway, because..well, I'm a nana driving on a good day so decrease my visibility and I may as well have one of those plastic head things on that 85 year old women wear in the rain after they just had their hair set.  Everyone is passing me, I am in a sweat with the AC on, and I can't see 10 feet in front of me.  Did I mention I never go to this mall? So, I don't know where I'm going.

Somehow by the grace of God I make it back to my hood.  Yeah.  I live in the hood.
I visit our local Wallgreens conveniently located next door to our local strip club to pick up a couple of things.  The woman in front of me takes at least 15 minutes to check out with her Depends, and then I am up.  Immediately, the people behind me have to 'close stand' all up on me.  I don't know why.  It was like, they thought we were one big group and maybe I would get confused and pay for their goods too.
The cashier is about 17 and he looks nervous.  THEN the close standers have to bust all in my transaction because they apparently really needed to know if the nuts they wanted to purchase were roasted AND salted.  WHAT?
This poor kid, takes money and bags products.  All kinds.  Magazines, ice cream, Depends, Tylenol.  DO YOU THINK HE ROASTED THE NUTS???
I ice skate back to my car, and it is filled with the chords of 'it's the most wonderful time of the year'.
This song was created solely to mock me.

-Ali

P.S.  I am watching the news and just an FYI-the highway dept. just lowered the highway speed to 45 MPH.  I was doing the speed limit.  Settle down!